#what to do when the only thing i really want to do (read a specific fanfic) is triggering. help.

[straw-berrysoju]

Match Found (18+)

Summary: You didn’t think tonight would end with your brother’s best friend telling you how much he wants to fuck you… but here you are. Thighs shaking. Heart pounding. Fingers soaked. And it’s not even midnight yet.

Or alternatively where one needy night you end up on an anonymous sexting app only to realise this stranger yet familiar person you're sexting is actually your brother's best friend, kim mingyu.

Pairing: Mingyu x female reader

Setting: Sexting app

Word Count: ~ 3k

Themes: Sexting, slow-burn, depraved, intensely erotic, forbidden (brother's best friend)

Warnings: Explicit sexual content, masturbation, voice kink, dirty talk, mutual pining, brother’s best friend dynamic, fantasizing, edging

_______________________________________________________

It starts off harmless. A new app, an anonymous chat. You weren’t even trying to get off tonight — not really.

You just wanted to feel wanted.

You sign up with the name petal.crush, something vague and romantic to offset your restlessness. It’s just a sexting app — no profile photos, no bios, no identifying anything. Just usernames and raw, unfiltered chat.

The tagline was catchy: “No faces. Just fantasies.”

You match within seconds.

Matched with: lowtone.sin

Your screen lights up with the first message before you can even type.

> lowtone.sin:

You clicked first. So you’re either impatient or a little reckless.

Which one is it?

You bite your lip, already smiling at the confidence behind his tone. Typing back feels like slipping into something dangerous.

> petal.crush:

Maybe both.

You planning to do something about it?

> lowtone.sin:

That depends

Are you here for sweet words and flirting?

Or are you here to get ruined?

Your thighs instinctively press together.

> petal.crush:

Ruin me. Slowly.

There’s a long pause. You stare at the screen, anticipation crawling up your spine.

Then finally—

> lowtone.sin:

Good girl.

Let’s start with something easy.

What would I hear if I called you right now?

Would you sound sweet and shy?

Or would you already be wet and waiting?

You suck in a breath.

There’s no point pretending. No coyness left in you tonight. This man — whoever he is — has the kind of tone that makes your stomach clench and your mind submit. You press the mic icon before you can talk yourself out of it.

> petal.crush \[voice note – 0:12]

“I’m not touching myself yet. But I’m aching for it. My panties are soaked. Just from reading your messages”

The response comes fast.

> lowtone.sin:

You’ve got a filthy little mouth for someone who hasn’t even been told to touch yet.

Bet you squirm when someone takes control of you, don’t you?

That tight, needy body of yours probably begs for it.

You whimper — aloud — and type with trembling fingers.

> petal.crush:

You’re right.

I love being told exactly what to do.

I want to be teased, edged, used.

> lowtone.sin:

Fuck.

Get your hand between your thighs. Now.

Over your panties. I want your fingers soaked before I even let you move them.

You obey.

The fabric sticks to you immediately. You slide two fingers up and down the drenched cotton and exhale into the dark.

Your phone buzzes again.

> lowtone.sin:

I want to hear how wet you are.

Show me.

You record again, a soft gasp escaping your lips as you press a little harder.

> petal.crush \[voice note – 0:16]

“I’m dripping. The fabric’s so wet it’s clinging to me. I want to slide them off and touch my bare pussy for you.”

> lowtone.sin:

Not yet

Good things come to desperate girls

Tell me — how often do you touch yourself thinking about strangers?

You bite your lip.

> petal.crush:

Not streangers

Someone specific.

> lowtone.sin:

Oh?

Lucky bastard.

What’s he like?

Your throat goes dry.

Because he’s you. You’ve fantasized about him. That voice — it’s too perfect, too polished. The way he calls you good girl feels familiar in a way that’s wrong and addictive.

You shake it off.

> petal.crush:

Tall. Broad.Big hands. Sharp jaw.Smiles like sin.Looks like he could ruin me in one night and leave me wanting more.

There’s a pause. Then a photo notification.

Image\[jpg.1]

You tap on it, breath catching in your throat.

It’s a hand — his hand — wrapped around a thick cock. His grip is firm, the tip flushed red and glistening. You can see the base of his abs, tight and flexed, veins running across his forearm. It’s cropped — no face, no hints — but god, it’s pretty.

> lowtone.sin:

What do you think?

> petal.crush:

I think I want it down my throat.

> lowtone.sin:

You say things like that and expect me to keep my composure?

> petal.crush:

No.

I want to hear you lose it.

Another voice note comes in. His voice is deeper now — rough, frayed around the edges.

> lowtone.sin \[voice note – 0:28]

“Fuck. If you were here right now, I’d have you on your knees. I’d hold your jaw, make you look up at me while I slide my cock across your tongue. I bet your eyes would water so pretty when I push deep.”

You moan. Loud. Hand slipping inside your panties at last, slick fingers circling your clit in dizzy little swirls. Your legs tremble.

> petal.crush:

I can’t wait. Please.

Tell me what to do. I’ll be so fucking good.

> lowtone.sin:

Take off your panties.

Lie back.

Spread your legs and take a photo for me.

I want to see the mess you made just from my voice

You obey.

You slide them off and grab your phone with one shaky hand, angling the camera down — flushed thighs, glistening lips, your fingers posed teasingly just above where you ache most.

Image\[jpg.2]

You hit send. Instantly.

> lowtone.sin:

Jesus

Look at that cunt.

Bet it’s tight as hell.

You fuck yourself slow or fast?

> petal.crush:

Depends how desperate I am.

> lowtone.sin:

And how desperate are you tonight, baby?

> petal.crush:

I’m so wet I could come without touching.

But I want you to drag it out. Make it painful.

There’s a moment of silence. Then:

> lowtone.sin:

…Fuck.

This is going to sound crazy.

But your voice?

Your photos.

You’re too fucking familiar.

Your chest goes still.

That tone. That rasp. That deep little breath before he speaks.

Your heart lurches.

No.

It can’t be.

You type, hands shaking:

> petal.crush:

Say something. Just one word.

I need to be sure.

He doesn’t text.

He sends a voice note.

> lowtone.sin \[voice note – 0:06]

“Y/N.”

Your stomach drops.

It is him.

That voice, you know it. You’ve heard it a hundred times.

Because Mingyu — your brother Seungcheol’s best friend — has been in your house more times than you can count.

And now, he’s here. Holding his cock. Telling you how good your pussy looks.

Your fingers are still between your legs.

And you’re still soaked.

Your heart is pounding.

You’re sitting in your dark bedroom, soaked fingers trembling between your thighs, staring at your screen like it’s a weapon pointed directly at your chest.

Mingyu.

Your brother’s best friend.

The voice you’ve moaned to in secret.

The man whose towel dropped in front of you two summers ago, whose gaze lingered a beat too long when you walked into the kitchen in your smallest sleep shorts. The man who walked in on you changing and looked—just looked—but didn’t leave for three entire seconds.

Your mouth goes dry.

You wait for him to say something else. Anything.

lowtone.sin:

Say it.

I know you know it’s me.

I want to hear it.

You type slowly, every nerve ending alive.

petal.crush:

Mingyu.

I knew it the second you said my name.

You sound exactly how I imagined when I used to fuck myself to the thought of you.

A pause.

Then—

lowtone.sin:

Holy fuck.

You used to what?

petal.crush:

You have any idea how hard it was living in the same house and pretending I wasn’t soaking through my panties every time you smiled at me?

lowtone.sin:

Tell me.

Everything.

You pause, pulse pounding.

And then you type like you’re possessed.

petal.crush:

The shorts?

I wore those on purpose. I knew they barely covered my ass.

Every time I bent over to grab something, I made sure you were in the room.

Once, I even “accidentally” spilled water on my chest so I could walk past you in a wet tank top.

And that day you walked in on me changing?

I left the door unlocked.

His reply comes fast.

lowtone.sin:

You fucking minx.

I had to jerk off in your goddamn bathroom after that.

I saw your tits. I saw your thighs.

And the way you looked at me—like you wanted me to stay?

petal.crush:

I did want you to stay.

I wanted you to push me against the mirror and fuck me stupid.

Right there. With Seungcheol downstairs.

Another voice note.

You brace yourself before you tap it.

lowtone.sin \[voice note – 0:34]

“I swear to God, Y/N. If I had known you wanted it even half as bad as I did, I wouldn’t have lasted another day pretending. Every time you moaned in your sleep when I stayed over, I nearly lost my mind. I wanted to sneak into your room and make you finish what you started.”

Your whole body jolts.

petal.crush:

I used to fake moan just loud enough for you to hear when I knew you were sleeping in the next room.

I imagined you sneaking in and putting your hand over my mouth while you fucked me into the mattress.

lowtone.sin:

Jesus fuck.

I used to picture you riding my thigh on the couch while Seungcheol played video games right next to us.

Just your pretty little cunt grinding against me, biting your lip so you wouldn’t make a sound.

You moan—out loud—and grab your phone, hand back between your legs.

You don’t even bother hiding it this time.

petal.crush \[voice note – 0:23]

“I’m touching myself again. I can’t stop. I’m picturing your hand over my mouth, your cock buried in me, and your voice in my ear telling me I’m your filthy little secret.”

lowtone.sin:

You are my filthy little secret.

Mine.

No one else gets to hear you like this.

No one else gets to see what I’m seeing.

Another picture arrives.

Image\[jpg.3]

He’s naked now, lying back, abs tight, one hand gripping his cock. He’s glistening with pre-cum, thick and flushed, the kind of cock you want to sink your teeth into.

You whimper.

lowtone.sin:

Let me see you again. All of you.

You slide your shirt off. Fingers trembling, you spread your legs wider and take the shot — body flushed, thighs slick, clit swollen and needy.

Image\[jpg.4]

You don’t even hesitate before sending it.

lowtone.sin:

I want to fuck you against every surface in your house.

Against the washing machine while it rumbles.

On your brother’s bed while he’s in the shower.

On the goddamn kitchen counter while you beg me not to stop.

petal.crush:

I used to imagine you standing behind me while I washed dishes.

Sliding your hand down the front of my shorts and telling me to keep doing chores while you made me come.

lowtone.sin:

I fantasized about making you gag on my cock while Seungcheol watched a movie in the next room.

You’d cry on it. I’d fuck your throat until you begged me to come inside.

And I’d pull out, grip your jaw, and say: “Open.”

You rub yourself harder now, two fingers circling your clit while you picture everything he’s saying.

petal.crush \[voice note – 0:28]

“I’d do it. I’d drop to my knees for you so fast. I’d swallow you down and let you use my mouth. I want it so fucking bad. Please—talk me through it. Tell me what to do.”

lowtone.sin \[voice note – 0:32]

“Slide two fingers in. Slow. Stretch that tight pussy out while I stroke my cock and imagine it’s your sweet cunt clenching around me. Keep rubbing that clit. But don’t come. Not until I tell you.”

You moan brokenly and do as he says.

Fingers curling deep.

Your walls flutter.

You need him so badly it hurts.

lowtone.sin:

How many times have you come to the thought of me?

petal.crush:

I lost count months ago.

lowtone.sin:

What was your favorite fantasy?

You hesitate… then type.

petal.crush:

You bend me over the bathroom sink after a swim.

Your trunks are still wet.

I’m dripping all over the tile.

You grab my throat. You fuck me so hard I can’t even look at myself in the mirror.

And when I come, you keep going.

Until I’m shaking. Ruined. Begging.

He moans — this time in a voice note — and the sound is enough to send you right to the edge.

lowtone.sin \[voice note – 0:24]

“You’re going to be the death of me. You want to be fucked that dirty, babygirl? You want to cry from how good it feels? I’ll give you every filthy fantasy you’ve ever had. Just say the word.”

You hit record with shaking fingers.

petal.crush \[voice note – 0:19]

“Please. Make me come. I’m right there. I want to scream your name. Let me be yours. Just say it, Mingyu.”

lowtone.sin:

Come.

Now.

Be my good girl and make a mess for me.

You explode.

White-hot pleasure tears through your core, every nerve singing. You cry out his name, legs twitching, soaked fingers buried in your pussy as you ride the orgasm out.

You’re a mess.

You can barely breathe.

And then—

A voice note. Raspy. Guttural.

lowtone.sin \[voice note – 0:14]

“Fucking hell. I’m coming—fuck—Y/N, I’m coming thinking about that tight pussy and your filthy mouth saying my name.”

You both go quiet for a minute.

Breathless.

Spent.

But buzzing.

You’re still panting.

Your fingers are sticky with your own slick. Your body’s boneless. Your skin feels too hot, your breath too shallow. The little hum of your phone is the only sound in the room, and you’re suddenly very aware of how quiet it is.

And how loud the truth is.

You just came for Mingyu.

And he just came for you.

Your brother’s best friend. The one you’re not supposed to want.

But God — you want him so bad your bones ache.

The screen glows.

lowtone.sin:

…Still alive?

petal.crush:

Barely.

I think you melted my brain.

lowtone.sin:

Good.

That was the goal.

You sounded so fucking pretty when you begged for it.

I replayed your voice note three times before I came.

Your cheeks flush with warmth that runs straight to your core.

petal.crush:

My legs are shaking.

Like… actually.

You wrecked me through a screen.

lowtone.sin:

Bet you’re all messy and flushed and glowing right now.

Wish I was there to see it.

Would kiss every inch of you. Clean you up with my tongue.

Your breath stutters.

petal.crush:

You’re gonna make me start all over again.

lowtone.sin:

Oh?

You that greedy for me already?

petal.crush:

I’ve been greedy for you since I was nineteen.

Since you walked out of the shower that one time shirtless and dripping and smiled like nothing was wrong while I nearly came just from looking at your waistline.

lowtone.sin:

Holy fuck.

I remember that day.

You wouldn’t meet my eyes.

You were wearing that little white top… no bra.

I had to jerk off in Seungcheol’s bathroom after dinner.

petal.crush:

I knew it.

I remember hearing the water run again and thinking, please let him be thinking about me.

lowtone.sin:

I always was.

Every time I came over, you were the only thing on my mind.

And every time I smiled, every joke I cracked — it was me trying to keep it together.

Pretending I didn’t want to drag you into your room and fuck you until you screamed.

petal.crush:

You don’t have to pretend anymore.

A beat passes.

Then:

lowtone.sin:

I want to ruin you, Y/N.

For real.

I want to see how that pretty mouth looks moaning my name.

I want to taste how sweet you are when you’re trembling under me.

I want to hold your wrists down and fuck you until you're mine.

Your chest squeezes. It’s still hot and filthy between you, but now there’s something else curling underneath it — something heavy and sweet and real.

lowtone.sin:

Remember that party last year?

When you wore that backless dress?

petal.crush:

Yeah. You kept refilling my drink.

lowtone.sin:

Because I couldn’t stop staring.

I wanted to drag you into the guest bathroom and eat you out against the door.

You were laughing, dancing like you didn’t know what you were doing to me.

petal.crush:

I knew.

I bent over on purpose.

Just so I could feel your eyes on my ass.

I wanted to know if you’d finally break.

lowtone.sin:

I almost did.

I had to go home early and jerk off to the image of your bare back and heels.

Imagining how you'd sound if I fucked you in them.

You’re flushed again. Dizzy with need. The ache is back, deeper than before.

petal.crush:

You’re making me wet again.

lowtone.sin:

Good.

Want you wet every time I speak.

Want you to fall asleep with my voice in your head and my name between your legs.

You record another voice note, throat thick with need.

petal.crush \[voice note – 0:18]

“You’re already in my head, Mingyu. I’m aching for you. Touching myself again. Can’t stop thinking about how you’d feel inside me.”

lowtone.sin:

Fuck.

You’re gonna kill me.

You’re perfect. You’re mine.

There’s a moment of pause. His next message is slower, quieter.

lowtone.sin:

We’re not going back after this, are we?

You stare at that sentence, heart pounding. You type slowly, surely.

petal.crush:

I don’t want to.

I don’t want to pretend I don’t want you anymore.

I want this. You.

Even if it’s wrong.

lowtone.sin:

Then it’s us.

No more secrets.

No more pretending.

petal.crush:

You gonna come see me?

lowtone.sin:

You better leave the door unlocked.

Because I’m coming over tomorrow night.

And I’m not leaving until I’ve had your legs around my shoulders and my name in your throat.

Your whole body tingles.

petal.crush:

You sure you can handle me?

lowtone.sin:

Baby, I’ve been waiting for this for years.

I’m gonna make sure you never forget the first night we stop pretending.

And just like that, you're already aching for round two.

Even if it hasn't even begun yet.

__________________

Author's note: This idea has been in my head for a while now so I had to let it out. I originally planned to write a sexting smut that felt more authentic to the story, as this is set on a sexting app, I wanted to include all the elements to it like actual images(just as one does in smaus), audios of them moaning or whimpering yk, short video clips and all but I realised I'd get reported if I did that so I had to keep it limited to words. Hope y'all liked it still. This format was a new one and I struggled a bit with it but still enjoyed working on it nonetheless.

[alinathinkstoomuch]

EX-FACTOR

pairing: aaron hotchner x ex!reader summary: hotch swears he's listening to rossi, except he can’t focus on a single word when you’re at the bar with another guy, based on this request. warnings: hotch is turning greeeeen from jealousy!! pining, hotch just wants his baby back word count: 0.6k

✧ masterlist | ✧ alina's 1k bar

Aaron was trying to listen to Rossi—really, he was. Something about a plot of land and investment potential and tax benefits or… God, he’d lost the thread ages ago. He nodded here and there, tossed out a half-hearted “yeah?” or “makes sense,” but his focus wasn’t anywhere near the conversation. Neither were his eyes.

They were glued to the crowd, more specifically to the gap in it. The spot where you used to be.

You’d disappeared ten minutes ago, and so had the guy who’d been flirting with you. Some twenty-something whose fingers grazed the side of your waist like he had any right to be even within six feet of you.

“And what exactly is your plan for tonight?” Rossi asked, swirling the last bit of his bourbon. 

“What?”

“The staring? Gripping your glass like it can breathe?” Rossi lifted his brows. “What’s next? You going to challenge him to a duel?”

“I’m just watching,” Aaron muttered.

“Mmm,” Rossi said, which was Italian for you’re full of shit but I’m going to let you dig this hole a little deeper.

Aaron didn’t respond, his eyes doing their seventh sweep of the minute. He wasn’t sure what he was hoping for the most, that you’d look back and catch him, or that the guy would spontaneously combust under the weight of his scowl. But for any of that to happen, he had to see where you were.

And he knew that he had no right. That it wasn’t his business anymore, that the only real authority he had over you these days was inside a briefing room with a suspect on the board. Because this? A bar, a night off, your clothes, your smile, a stranger’s hand on your waist? This wasn’t his jurisdiction. This was your playing field now. And Aaron was a benched sub who’d already had his shot and fumbled the pass, reduced to a spectator at best. A ghost, more likely. 

“She’s allowed to dance, you know,” Rossi continued, not unkindly. “Even allowed to enjoy it.”

“I didn’t say she wasn’t.”

“Good,” Rossi said, far too breezily. “Maybe she even left with him. Can’t see her anywhere.”

Aaron’s head whipped towards the exit so fast, it stirred a breeze around him. For a moment his stomach dropped in that cold, involuntary way it did when something went wrong on a case as he considered the possibility that, maybe you did go home with him.

“I’m kidding,” Rossi chuckled. “Relax. She’s by the bar.”

And there you were. Using a stack of napkins to fan yourself, the golden lights catching on your exposed skin, the small specks of glitter scattered across your bare shoulders gracefully. He could still remember the caramel-like scent that came with it, relying on memory alone now, because he no longer had the right to be close enough to smell it again.

The lights shifted, dimming, then bleeding into a soft pink, the kind that made everything—you—look dreamlike. You gasped excitedly, grabbing Penelope’s arm where she stood beside you. She lit up just like you did, and Aaron didn’t even realise he was smiling until you were already pulling her towards the dance floor, placing a hand on the guy’s chest and yelling, “I’ll be back. This is our song!”

He hoped you wouldn’t be back, not to him, anyway. Not really. He hoped you’d stay somewhere close instead, just within reach, orbiting near enough for his eyes to find you and no one else’s.

He was grateful no one around had mind-reading abilities, because if you knew how often he thought about you, you’d probably never speak to him again. Or maybe you would. That was the thing about the two of you, the friendship had held, maybe too well. And maybe that was the problem.

Neither of you could move on. 

“You’re torturing yourself,” Rossi said plainly. 

Aaron didn’t look away. “I know.”

tags - @fandomscombine @pastelpinkflowerlife @hazzyking @bernelflo @risenqueen1521 @jazzimac1967 @camihotchner @abschaffer2 @ill-be-okay-soon-enough @pacmillo-blog-blog @stilestotherescue @kiwriteswords @anvdala @supersanelyromantic @yourallaround-simp @percysley @wowitsafemale @cinnamoncunt @keiminds @iyskgd @mystic-rox @insured-by-the-mafia @mggslover @star-crossed-sephie @tearykth @2dloveshp  @lovelystrawberry @imissaaronhotchner @justyourusualash @alexxavicry @storiesofsvu @ehedrick012110 @khxna

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[cherrygirlfriend]

PROFESSOR DONALDSON

♡ pairing: married professor!art x student!reader

♡ summary: art has a thing for one of his students and when he confides to his best friend about it, he sees her at the same bar.

♡ warnings / tags: smut, age gap (30s, early 20s), thigh riding, cheating, patrick being a wingman. MDNI! wc: 1.4k

♡ author's note: this has been in my drafts since april… sorry 😔

ART MASTERLIST ♡ 5K MASTERLIST

art knew that every part of his attraction towards you was wrong— not only was he a married man with a daughter, over ten years your senior, but the worst part was that he was your professor.

but every time you walked into the room, it was as if his eyes were pulled to you by a magnetic force; the way your smile showed off the dimples that looked hand-carved to your cheeks, how it seemed that the sun always seemed to find your eyes and make specifically them brighter than anything else in the room, your hand raising to brush a strand of hair behind your ear, showing the same pair of pearl earrings you wore every day. it was like everything was slow-motion when you walked into the room, like the melodic sound of your laughter tuned out every other noise.

not only that, but you were one of his brightest students; always writing down notes, a serene smile on your face as your eyes flickered from him to your notebook - he doesn't think you've ever even yawned during one of his lessons. sometimes, after class was over, you'd walk up to his desk, art's eyes widening as you cocked your head to the side with a genuine smile on your lips, and even though his ears started buzzing the moment you said something to him, he could read your lips enough to know you were complimenting his class, art offering a shy chuckle and a shake of his head with a quiet thanks.

at this point, though, art was just ready to admit defeat; he knew that it was wrong for him to have such thoughts about you, such feelings towards you, but he couldn't help it. so as long as he didn't do anything about it, he'd be fine. he was a grown man, he had self-control.

"so." patrick clapped his hands on the hardwood counter of the bar as he settled down next to art, ordering the same thing as his blonde friend had gotten, whiskey on the rocks. "what did you call me here for? doubt it's to party." he said, taking a sip of his drink, "tell uncle patrick."

art took off his glasses, rubbing the corners of his eyes with his thumb and index finger, placing the lenses down on the counter, and downing his whiskey in one large swig, tapping the edge of the glass to signify he wanted a refill, letting out an exasperated sigh, all the while patrick looked at his friend with widened eyes.

"what do i do..." art mussed up his hair, his lips pursed, "if i'm... attracted to someone i really shouldn't be?" patrick turned to look at art with narrowed eyes, letting out a soft chuckle; he saw the guilty in art's eyes, and immediately knew. "you have a crush on one of your students, don't you?"

art's eyes nearly bulged out of his eyes as he looked around, as if someone had told his deepest, darkest, secret to patrick; but the man simply chuckled, "dude, it's fine to have crushes on your students, just as long as you don't act on them."

but art couldn't hear a single word patrick was saying; because as soon as you spotted art, you smiled, lifting your hand up, waving at the man; and before he could pretend that he didn't see you, you had started walking over. "shit." he mumbled under his breath, catching patrick's attention. "what?" "that's her." "your little cr- YEOUCH!" art kicked patrick's foot under the table, interrupting the other man's sentence just as you got to the bar.

"i didn't expect to see you here, mr. donaldson." you chuckled softly, seeing the tight smile on art's lips. you tilted your head to the side as the man scratched the back of his head, "i could say the same." "i'm patrick." the black-haired man you'd noticed was accompanying your professor, and you turned to look at him, looking the man up and down, sizing him up with narrowed eyes, before telling him your own name. "i should go, my friends are gonna join me soon."

"ye-" "no, no. you should stay and have a drink with us while you wait for your friends." patrick grinned, stopping art's attempt from getting you to leave them. "is that alright with you, mr. donaldson?" you asked with a coy smile, the man clearing his throat, trying his best not to look at your cleavage, or how your skirt had slightly ridden up. "yes, that's fine. and, uh, you can call me art, since we're not on campus."

"alright, art." your lips curled up, and the way his name rolled out of your mouth so smoothly, the way your plump lips looked as you said it caused a twitch in his trousers as you pulled back a stool, sitting down next to art.

it was like talking to an old friend, like talking to someone art had known his entire life. one drink after another, the conversation between you two just… flowed. you didn't even notice when patrick slipped away, or even when your hand moved itself to art's thigh after a joke he'd told you had made you nearly keel over in laughter.

patrick did, though; the man was watching it all go down from a slight distance away, leaning against a jukebox, swirling around the in his glass of whiskey; a priceless grin on his face as soon as your lips connected with art's, only widening when he saw you two stumble into the women's bathroom of the shitty dive bar.

'don't shit where you eat' is what you told your friends every time they told you about some coworker they had a thing for; it was never a good idea to hook up with someone you knew you wouldn't be able to avoid. but as your professor out of all people sucked your nipple into his mouth, he might as well have sucked all the common sense out of your brain. you arched into him as art's hands slid up your skirt, his large, callouses hands gripping your thighs as you straddled his thigh.

"oh, god, mr. donaldson…" the term slipping out of your mouth without you even realizing, the man letting your nipple out of his mouth with a wet pop! as he looked up at you, your cheeks starting to feel warm with embarrassment.

but when you looked down at art, he had a small grin playing on his lips as he moved you on his thigh, the friction causing electricity to run through your veins as you felt the wet patch in your panties growing.

you rubbed art through his trousers, the man letting out a whine as he continued moving you as you ground down on his muscular thigh.

even though you were both still half-dressed, the pleasure you got just from the way art moved you on his thigh was heavenly, one of his hands squeezing the fat of your ass.

the drinks you'd had made every sensation feel so much better, every pulse of pleasure… the bathroom was filled with the sound of your mingled breaths, with your lewd moans, the pleasure in your abdomen building up and building up…

until finally it all crashed down, pleasure flooding through your entire body, your pussy clenching around nothing as your orgasm crashed through your body.

that was the moment art knew that he was screwed; because as he watched you come undone on his thigh, no part of him felt guilty. only thing he could think about was how beautiful you looked in that moment, and how he was the one to make you feel that way.

taglist: @h8aaz @purpleplumpudding @cinnamoncunt @nonietosay @ariieeesworld @in-my-feels-probably @harringtonsbowgirl @lacelottie @destinedtobegigi @jessalys @lacy-doe @aliluvssyou @lexasaurs634

click here to join the taglist! 🤎

[ao3commentoftheday]

i'm sort of struggling dealing with jealousy in my fandom.

there is a character i'm very fond of in the source material. we don't know a lot about them, they never directly appear in the story and we only have a handful of information that we know is canon for sure. so that means a lot about this character is left up to audience interpretation, down to something as surface-level as their physical appearance. it's already a very niche fandom, and i write and draw for this character.

for about three years, i have been subject to vagueposting by some big name fans who are very invested in discussing canon lore. they have never mentioned me by name, and in their vagueposts they act as though there are multiple artists or authors who portray this version of the character the way i do... when i know it's just me. i have never spoken to them directly. i wish them no ill will. but they have said some truly hurtful, nasty things about my version of this character behind my back without mentioning me by name.

this is where the jealousy comes in. i never got a huge amount of attention when i started writing and drawing art for this fandom, but i suspect that because in these bnfs' vagueposting people know they're talking about me specifically, they stay away from my work because these bnfs talk about how my interpretation is bad. this is, to be fair, kind of far-fetched.

really, what makes me upset is that i was never an artist or writer who got a lot of attention in the first place when these bnfs have been into this source material for a few years more than i have, and have a significantly larger following and circle of friends than i do. yet they choose to go after me and say some truly rude things about my characterization work behind my back when they're also making things up... just that their work is more popular.

i have blocked and muted these people, and continue to do so when i run into others who speak rudely of me behind my back. when i write fic, i link to my social medias (not ko-fi. i understand ao3's policies about that) to my social media page - call it shallow, but i really do want to spend more time with other people and chat with other fans about my interpretation. but i'm not sure what more i can do to healthily manage my jealousy and upset at these people for saying rude things behind my back. part of me wants to confront them about it, but i'm a very short-tempered person and i don't want to end up making things worse.

I'm so sorry anon *hugs* This situation sucks, and I wish you weren't in it.

From everything you've written here, it doesn't sound like you're experiencing jealousy? Like, everything you're describing is hurt feelings due to people maligning your work and your character.

The part that you might be interpreting as jealousy, I'm reading as loneliness or feelings of isolation in your fandom. You want to have people to talk to and share ideas with. That's totally understandable, and it's actually something that most of us want too.

I'm glad that you've already blocked and muted those folks. That was 100% a smart move to make. Keep that kind of negative energy as far away as possible, and you're much more likely to find peace.

When it comes to finding people to talk with, you might have to take a more active role. Sharing your social media is one step, but it relies on the other person reaching out in order for that to be successful. You might have better luck if you're the one who sends the first message.

I know that can feel intimidating, especially in a space where you know people are talking shit about you. Try starting with just one person. If someone leaves a like on your artwork or a kudos/comment on your fic, try sending them an ask or replying to their comment with a question for them to respond to. By starting with someone who has already given you a positive response, you might have less to worry about?

There isn't really anything you can do to stop mean people from being mean to you. Keep doing what you're doing on that front, and focus your energy on finding people who are actually nice. I hope you find them ❤️

[hewinked]

you ever have fandom drama go down with literally all the big blogs for one fandom that you love so much, and then all the blogs you follow just start throwing tomato's at each other?

yeah thats pretty much me with the danny phantom x dc crossover tag argument thing rn

also im of the opinion that, this is kinda always how crossovers worked? you tag it with both fandoms it includes? and the tag thing is not that bad? or atleast ive had not that much trouble finding only solely danny phantom content

and i mean, danny phantom is an old fandom objectively, the only new content being some comic books which alot of people didnt read because they didnt wanna or couldnt spend money on it

it makes sense that even alot of old fans would get into dp x dc, and that because dc is such a big and active fandom in comparison, that a lot of dc fans would get into the crossovers, and become new danny phantom fans via the crossovers

but ik alot of people are arguing that they shouldnt be, because they think that dc fans have never even seen danny phantom because of small details they get wrong or mix up, which is like a whole nother "if youre in this fandom you have to know everything about the media or youre not a real fan" shaped problem that I dont care for at all

the truth is most of them probably are just going off of what they remember from their childhoods because ALOT of people watched danny phantom as a kid, and just havent had time to rewatch it fully, so yeah, theyre gonna not remember some things and have to fill in the blanks themselves or go off of what other fans say

and as far as im aware anyways, this isnt really just a dc and dp thing? Im in the miraculous ladybug fandom and fic wise alot of it is now danny phantom or dc crossovers, but ive heard no complaints and given no complaints (despite not liking them myself) because thats mainly on ao3 and you can just block it

the point im going to make is actually, that alot of the fandom on tumblr is reliant on ao3 in the first place, and like on ao3 this definitely isnt a problem, because you can block a tag easily and most people on ao3 know better then to not tag something that they have in a fic

thing is? people are used to that. it is considered heavily heavily impolite on ao3 to not tag a fandom or thing you have in the fic.

and most tumblr users are or started as ao3 users. its pretty much the same etiquette on here.

but somehow when you go on tumblr with specifically danny phantom fans? somehow people are offended by it?

thing is, same as on ao3, on tumblr you can block a tag and filter.

but lets say you are blocking that and still seeing dc crossover stuff like so many people are complaing

then isnt the problem logically that alot of these people just arent tagging the dc stuff properly then? because i imagine thats what you should be trying to block so.... why be mad that theyre tagging danny phantom when thats one of the correct tags to be using? so that anyone who wants to see crossovers plus regular content can?

like im just saying thats the logic i follow

and thats not me tryna say go and blame em for that either, im just saying youre kinda angry about something that its okay to be mad about, but you have put yourself in the wrong because your mad about the wrong thing anyways.

also even if youre mad about it, maybe stop bullying and critizing literally anyone who's writing dc and dp? like encouraging people to write what they like is the name of the game, you guys know that right?

you know you can just nicely comment without being passive aggressive or rude, and tell them that they should tag their posts a little better? and not take your anger out on them because they personally obviously dont sway the whole fandom by themselves? do you know that?

you also dont have to make big ol rant posts about how much you hate dp x dc writers for writing a crossover, that will hurt those writers feelings, and that you know will make all your followers mad at all those innocent writers also, right? you know that you don't have to and shouldn't be making posts like that right?

[sicvitaest27]

I’d like to give my two cents on this subject, as an author myself.

Honestly, I consider myself quite a free speaker, and will ask if I have something to ask, just as I’ll comment, when I have something to comment. Also, when I’m done with the story, I’m more than happy to give feedback.

Of course, I understand that one of the beautiful things about writing WIP s is that real time interaction with readers, as the story progresses. But, for me personally, I do find myself waiting for the story to continue, without having the need to input anything. Not because I don’t care about the story, just because I understand what is going on, the direction, and everything else is just explained well, so there’s nothing really prompting me to ask anything, for it would, probably, be spoiler territory.

Now, of course, theories and whatnot are always welcome, but, there’s only so much theories that can be made about a story; and that heavily depends on how vague the story is being written, and don’t even get me started of people guessing and guessing, and then, by so many guesses, finish the story before you even get a chance to conclude it yourself. That’s a totally different can of worms, that I do not want to get myself into at the moment😂

Now, when an author explicitly asks a question to the readers, sure, it is always a welcome thing to answer, but, it should be considered that, unless they have enabled the notifications from a specific blog, chances are, that, if they follow a lot of blogs and people, they simply won’t see it, and for the ones that do, not all of them will feel the urge to respond. Why? I don’t know, that’s just their preference, and the reasonings are their own, and that’s okay. That’s how it is.

I’m relatively close to submitting a story of my own, and honestly, I would love to have interaction with the readers, for them to tell me how did they like the story, the characters, but I understand if they don’t, because, 9 times out of 10, I first, don’t find myself having the need to give constant feedback, and if that’s the case for me, I can’t put different expectations onto others.

But that’s just normal. That’s why you see games on steam, that everyone knows have sold millions, yet have only 300 reviews, or IF s on steam, that have authors on tumblr, and they are writing a second book for their IF, and there’ll still be barely any questions about it, or any theories.

Would I want for the community to be more active? Absolutely, but only because I want people to have a good time, and to feel free to have that good time, without thinking that they’re going to be subjected to whatever. But, if they are still here, following along, then that’s fine too, and that shouldn’t affect the authors, because, I understand that it’s always good to get that engagement, because that tells you that you’re doing something that’s worth doing, worth more than you may initially think, but, as an artist, you should do it because of yourself, first and foremost.

This is not a rant, and this is not a comment made against anyone who feels differently than what I just said; you’re justified in that, and I do feel you, trust me, but, as long as people want to stick around and enjoy your stories, then I say let them! And, if they wish to talk to the brilliant mind behind the story, then by all means, but I don’t see a point in trying to force something to do that. Because, even encouraging can be viewed like that, and I doubt that any of us want that.

So, to conclude this, yes, the community may have gone a tad bit quieter, and the reasons for that are unknown to me, but, should that change? Hopefully, but if not, then hell, it is what it is. There are certainly many factors and reasons that can be taken into account for that, but, what I advocate for, is for people to be comfortable and have a good time. And for authors, to do this because they truly like doing it, and, as Toni Morrison had put it, “If there’s a book that you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.” That’s how I view my writing. No one’s written this, in this specific setting or this specific way, with these specific characters, and so, I shall write it, and if people like it? That’s just icing on the cake.

Anyhow, to all my fellow authors, I feel you, I truly do, but hey, things change the way they do, but that shouldn’t demotivate you. People will express themselves when they wish to do so, for reasons only they have, and that’s also fine as well. Hopefully, folks will get more comfortable, for the IF community is a lovely community, which offers a safe space for everyone, but, if they just wish to follow along, let them. It’s all you can really do. Cheers to everyone, and love to all🥂🖤

I think a lot of authors have noticed this lately: Likes, comments, reblogs with reviews... everything seems to be getting quieter. Stories go on, chapters come out, but all too often, it's a great silent nothingness that greets them.

Are we at fault, or is it something else? Yet you're there, we can see you raising the view counters on our demos.

I'm not here to lecture or beg for anything. I'd just like to understand, as many other authors do, why ? Because this statement is the result of a growing concern? Depression?among our ranks. To the degree that some of us have come to say: What's the point?

I'd just like to remind you of one thing: a story is alive, yes, but ! It's alive thanks to you, not just to us.

Every word you read, every emotion you feel, every theory you silently formulate: it's all part of the magic of a story, and it needs to be shared. When you share it all, a comment, a reblog with a fews words, even a brief reaction, that's when it really comes together, you're blowing on the story's flame! You fuel it, make it tangible. You give it a life that an author, alone in front of their screen, can't always sustain over time. Believe me, we try... Some are more gifted than others, but I'm all for helping each other.

Because yes, we write out of passion, out of desire, out of need. Yes, we love our worlds. But the impetus, the joy, the motivation, the feeling of really being read, all that is also born from exchange.

So here it is, just a quick note to say that if you like or don't like something, please say so. No need for a big dissertation but there's nothing worse than silence, it's the great reaper of our aspirations and I don't want to let it win.

And to my author friends: you're not alone. 💙

[doctormohansamira]

Samira and Robby's interactions throughout the last four episodes are everything to me. She's one of the only main characters he doesn't have a lengthy exchange with in those episodes – he talks about religion with Whitaker. He stops to tell Mel that she was awesome and that he's glad she's with them, and he has multiple one on one interactions with her over the course of the treatment of the measles kid. He has that confrontation in the ambulance bay with Langdon. He talks at length to McKay about David and the broader meaning of her actions. He bursts into laughter about how this was Javadi's first shift, then tells her the next one will be easier, a moment very much specific to the two of them, even as there are a bunch of other people around, sharing in the laughter. It's really just Samira and Santos whom he doesn't talk to in any kind of depth.

This is...going to get long, I'm gonna add a read more.

When he tells Samira she's doing a good job, it's casual, in the middle of the chaos, while they're rushing around trying to do their jobs. When he asks if she's hanging in there after the crisis is over, it's not a one on one conversation, it's a general question about both her and Javadi. But even without a conversation, there's so much going on there. They're working so closely the entire time, even when they're on different patients, and as much as I would always want more of them interacting, because they are my favourite dynamic in the show by so much it's not even a contest, I didn't feel the loss of them in the last quarter of the show despite them not really talking about anything!

Before the patients start coming in, she follows him to ask where Collins went. He stops to check in on her, and she's explaining the case without so much as pausing what she's doing. He says, less to her than to the room in general, that she's on fire. Unlike every other time he compliments her, she doesn't stare after him in shock – she's too busy stabilizing the patient. She calls him over and explains another case, but it turns out, she doesn't really need him – he asks her what she's thinking, she tells him, and he confirms she should do what she thought she should. They work on intubating a patient together and he jokes about her having been spoiled by technology – and it's a line that could so easily be a criticism, but clearly isn't. He does not blame her for this in the slightest, because it's so out of the ordinary – the attending anesthesiologist was struggling with the same thing. She asks him about hospital procurement and why they don't stock something. She rushes to his side when Leah comes in, then jumps around to help other patients. He calls for her to go check on Mel when he's busy with Leah. When we're getting shots of pretty much all the residents, making it clear that everyone knows it's going poorly and Robby should be giving up, it's Samira that goes to stand next to Robby and ask if she can help. They do David's neurological workup together. He calls out specifically to her to finish up and go home. When he's yelling at Gloria, she's one of the three characters whose reactions we get a shot of. She's the one that asks what's funny when he's dissolving into laughter and the one that waves goodbye when he leaves.

These are all just brief interactions, spread out across several episodes, but the Robby and Samira dynamic is just this constant presence, and I adore it. There is so much happening in these last four episodes, and in them, as intense as everything is, as much pressure as they're under, Robby and Samira are in a better place than they were all season. Their interactions are lighter. After so many episodes of this lack of trust being a big thing in their relationship – Robby not trusting her clinical judgment, Samira not trusting him to not blow up at her – we get to see that when the chips are down and there's a crisis, there is a lot of trust. They work incredibly well together! He trusts her on the most critical patients and to go help the younger residents when he's otherwise occupied. She calls for his help repeatedly, and he drops whatever he's doing to go to her, knowing it'll be important. She knows pretty much immediately that Leah isn't going to make it, and she steps up to fill in for him elsewhere.

It means so much to me that Samira is the first person to indicate that she knows Leah's not going to make it, very shortly after she's brought in, and that while all the residents later are glancing over at Robby, very much aware that it's going poorly and he should have given up, Samira is the one resident to actually say something to him. They are constantly talking past each other. They are both trying to solve different systemic issues that, given the resources they have, are almost impossible to reconcile by a single person, and the fact of the matter is, the ER needs both of them, because it matters that people are trying to address both these problems, but it still is a huge strain on their relationship, not helped by how Robby lashes out at her when he's angry at himself. But when it’s Robby in distress, when it’s Robby doing what he accused her of doing all day...she has so much empathy and concern for him.

She's not Abbot, a peer that can straight up tell him that it's time to give up, that they're going to lose ten others if he keeps trying to save Leah. Not yet. What she is someone that deeply understands the impulse and the hard time he's having, who will step up when he can't. It's just such a phenomenal series of interactions to get across with so little conversation.

[lmlknn]

I BEG OF YOU ENDO, CHIKA, AND SAKURA WITH A OMEGA THAT DOESN’T LOOK LIKE AN OMEGA (really big, plus sized, hairy) with smut

An Omega!?

Pairing: Alpha! Yamato Endo, Alpha! Takiishi Chika, Alpha! Haruka Sakura (separated) x Omega!Male! Reader

Advertencia: MDNI, todos los personajes son mayores de edad, obscenidades, malas palabras, sobreestimulación, sexo semipúblico, dacrifilia, degradación, se menciona que el lector tiene características específicas, Dub-con (en la parte de endo), la parte de Takiishi puede sonar un poco tóxica, supongo que eso es todo.

Summary: An omega who in fact does not have any of the typical characteristics of his caste, his dynamics with other characters is somewhat complicated for their friends.

I haven't read the manga, I've only seen the anime so the characters may have (specifically Endo and Chika) behaviors a little OOC, I'm based on what I understood about their personalities in wiki 😭

English is not my first language, excuse any spelling or grammatical errors

Yamato Endo

Endo was used to being humiliated; he did it for Takiishi, for the love he had for him. And then, you appeared.

You were almost the same height as him; if you were doing well, you took out about 5 centimeters more, but you were much more muscular.

He wouldn't say you make him nervous; in fact, Takiishi intimidates him more. But it was strange; your pheromones captivated him, they were not sweet, in fact it was rare that they were, because he could swear that you were an alpha.

With you he felt a little freer; he could talk to you about many things that interested him. You praised him, which was normal in his day to day, but when the compliments came from you, he felt different.

He didn't know at what point his attention stopped belonging to Takiishi and you appeared, stealing ninety percent of the space in his mind. It didn't matter what was going on; one way or another you managed to appear in it.

The way he discovered that you were an omega was not exactly the prettiest. It was not planned, in fact you never intended to tell him the truth, it was not that you wanted to lie to him or anything like that, but you were used to only being able to admire him from afar. Of course, being from Noroshi gave you certain privileges, but you still didn't feel close enough to Endo.

He came to your house by surprise after worrying too much because you hadn't shown up in two days. When he entered your apartment. The first thing he received was the smell of your crazy pheromones.

His heart shrank and he could feel his stomach falling. He was an alpha who didn’t have good control over his alpha; despite being known as a carefree person with a calm nature, when his wolf decided to make an appearance, he could not control him so easily.

When you saw him at the door of your room, you regretted having given him a key to your house. You were in heat; it is public knowledge that omegas suffer when they don’t have a partner with whom to spend this difficult season.

Endo saw you squirm in your bed, totally blushing, with natural lubricant dripping and naked.

He never imagined himself in this position; all the alphas had their respective cycles of heat, but seeing you left him speechless.

A small moan came out of your lips. "Alpha"

And his instincts came to light.

He pounced on you, his lips collided with yours, starting a fiery dance that drove you crazy. One of his hands went to the back of your neck and the other to your waist. Being careful not to place all its weight on you.

It didn't take long for him to start unbuttoning his belt so he could catch your wrists in it. His lips moved to your neck, with the sole intention of leaving marks.

His shirt left his body quickly, as did his pants. All Endo wanted was to fuck you.

He didn't care about the previous preparation, without giving you even a little warning; Endo put his member all the way down. Both let out deep moans. In some miraculous way, Endō had found your prostate in the first lunge. "Ah! There! It's there, alpha!" Your moans were the most beautiful melody Endo's ears had ever heard. So sweet, so perfect.

You both looked like wild animals; the bed grinded, the headboard hit the wall hard, your teeth left a mark on Endo's shoulder while he hid his face in the hollow of your neck.

His lips were right in your ear and with each growl they made, an electric current ran down your spine.

It didn't take long for you to reach your climax; Endo did it wonderfully. Your back arched, sweat ran through their bodies, the clash of skins created an exciting sound, added with their moans and grunts.

You felt that you were in a fantasy, product of the pain caused by being jealous alone. Endo attracted you, too much, but you knew he liked Takiishi. You didn't have a chance and you weren't willing to risk yourself and make a fool of yourself.

"Please, don't make this a dream." You whispered as the fluids flowed down your abdomen.

"Oh, love. This is far from being a dream.” Endo's provocative tone turned you on even more. His cock rammed you again; this was undoubtedly the best heat you had ever gone through.

Letting yourself be carried away by pleasure and your instincts, you let yourself be enveloped by what seemed to be an illusion, a delicious illusion.

Of course, what was the surprise you took the next morning when you had Yamato Endo himself wrapped in your arms with bite marks and scratches.

"My God..." The shock was too much, and your poor tired and stunned mind could only make you let go of those words.

Chika Takiishi

It was weird; you awakened emotions inside Takiishi that he had never felt before. For him, there were only two types of people: those who stand in his way and need to be eliminated and the people who will give him the things he wants.

But you... you were something he couldn't decipher, you were different in the whole extent of the word. When Endo brought you, he couldn't help but feel confused.

You were an alpha, that was clear to him just by smelling your pheromones, but even so he couldn't help but wonder, why were you so big? You easily took it twenty centimeters tall; with your figure you could easily hide it, you had muscles big enough to drown someone there.

If it wasn't so strong, Chika could swear that if you set your mind to it, you could bend it like a simple toothpick in half.

"He is (M/n), is very good at fighting." Endo took him out of his thoughts; he directed his cold orbs to the black-haired man.

Takiishi never thought he would get so close to you; it was a great surprise to discover that, in fact, you were an omega.

Of course it was strange for him that you disappeared for a week every two months, but he assumed that you had your own problems. He decided not to investigate further; the last thing he wanted was for someone to discover the affection he had begun to hold for you.

But your pheromones were strong, not the typical sweet smell that the other omegas had. Honestly, the news had surprised him, although he didn't complain; that you were an omega fit him like a ring on his finger, means that he could woo you without obstacles in between.

When he left Furin, he was a little surprised that you were in Noroshi (even when he couldn't help but feel a weight in his chest at the mere thought that you had decided to stay with Umemiya).

His approach happened suddenly, it doesn't have a beginning and won't have an end; your mentality and Takiishi's were similar, enough to attract the temperamental alpha even more.

And now, he had you in his bed, just as he wanted you.

Despite your large size, something Takiishi loved was the good flexibility you had; he could put you in all the positions he wanted. He could bend you and mistreat you, and you never complained.

He loved to bite your thighs, which were the softest thing in the universe, also penetrate you without rest, until you fainted, until he had stolen your last breath, until you had no more semen to take out, until your pretty little eyes had no more tears to shed, until your walls remembered every millimeter of his cock, until the footprint of his hands was marked in violet tones by the force with which he grabs you. He wants your whole body to scream that you are of his property, the smell of your mixed pheromones is not enough, nor the mark that unites you; he wants more, much more.

Your cock was in his fist, pumping again and again rudely; tears rolled down your blushing cheeks, it was an ethereal sight, small gasps escaped from your swollen and reddish lips.

"What would others think if they saw you like this? So submissive, my precious omega." Takiishi's eyes shone with adoration, like this, how could you didn’t feel on heaven?

"Looking like this, what would the rest of the idiots who idolize you think, seeing you bent so easily, begging to be touched?" The way he degraded you was addictive, it was a vicious circle that no one was willing to break.

His touch left your skin burning; you didn't know how many orgasms you had, but Takiishi had shown no signs of stopping soon. Your legs began to tremble; Takiishi's sadistic smile did not calm you down at all.

"Do you want me inside?" He loved to mock, to see your face distorted by pleasure, to give you so much that you would be stunned, too drunk to be able to think of anything other than him.

"Yes, yes, yes," your tearful voice made his cock shake, your hips swayed desperately. You knew that with tantrums you weren't going to get anything, but Takiishi made it so difficult for you.

Freeing your member from his torture, he lift and bend your legs to his liking, settling down to be able to penetrate you freely and comfortably.

Takiishi was not soft; you could count on the fingers of one hand the times you have had vanilla sex, although it's not like you were complaining.

His member made his way through your entrance; a choked moan left your lips. "Always so greedy, you love to be fucked until you get tired." "Gah!" Grabbing your hips, he began to push even harder. Your eyes rolled, his tip hit your prostate fucking well; you tried to close your legs impulsively, but Takiishi abandoned his previous grip to sink his hands into your thighs. "Are you going to cum again?" His mocking tone almost makes you let out little whimpers. "Please," you begged.

"Mmm, I don't know. You've already come many times, do you deserve another one?" You knew what it meant; Takiishi only had two options for you in terms of climax: you could cum as many times as you wanted or he would start taking you to heaven and stop at the right time.

"Please, Takiishi!" More tears came down, causing their thrusts to be faster. "For your size, you're very crybaby." Takiishi loved to make fun of you, he always loved to remind you how ironic your physique was.

"You can take it longer, right?" Poor you...

Haruka Sakura

Going out with Sakura wasn't easy. He was very shy, he didn't like to kiss or hug in public. You wouldn't be surprised if half of his friends didn't even know they were a couple.

It's not that you both kept your relationship a secret, but no one expected that the thermometer of walking affection that was Sakura and you were together.

Starting with personalities, both are very different: Sakura exalted himself easily, he couldn't stand teasing and, if he didn't like something, he complained at the first moment; you, on the other hand, were quieter, you didn't start conversations and much less claimed when something didn't suit you.

Even if Sakura didn’t say it, everyone knew that he preferred to be alone they had never seen him flirt with an omega, his pheromones were not so intense and he had never been attracted to someone.

You had only been seen surrounded by alphas and betas, and although once Nirei, Sakura and Suo saw you with a beta, you soon introduced her as your mother, who came to visit you from outside the neighborhood.

Probably, that was the only approach they had seen you have with a female besides Kotoha.

It's not that you didn't have suitors, when they did their guards, many girls, omegas and betas, approached you to ask for your number.

Sakura couldn't blame them; you were handsome, tall, muscular, you knew how to fight very well, you knew how to cook and you were attentive to your friends. In short, you would be a very good match.

It was a surprise when Umemiya said that you were going to miss the meetings for a whole week because you were sick.

The second and third years understood in an instant, but he didn't, and how was he going to know that you were an omega, if they never bothered to tell him directly.

He surprised himself, going to the store to buy you medicines and the odd sandwich to go to your apartment and give you the food he had previously bought in Pothos.

When he arrived at your house, he was stopped by Kaji, who with his typical frown sent him back to his house, after calling him an idiot for not understanding that Umemiya meant that you were in heat.

Clearly, Sakura turned totally red. He complained to Kaji claiming how difficult it was to say that you were in that season of the month, from the beginning, instead of giving that silly hint.

In addition, to ask him why he was there. "What do you mean, what am I doing here, idiot? Umemiya and I always bring clothes to (M/n) to make his nest." Kaji shouted back.

"What do you mean what nest!?" Sakura asked, getting even redder. "Oh! How stupid do you have to be not to know that omegas make a nest when they are in heat?" Kaji began to shake him by the shoulders, getting more angry with each passing second.

"How do you want me to know that he is an omega, if I could assure that he was an alpha!?" Sakura defended himself.

Kaji stopped his attack; Sakura was not the first person who confused your caste. "You're such an idiot." Without saying more, Kaji turned around and walked away from your house; Sakura didn't take long to follow in his footsteps, making sure to leave the shopping in a safe place.

"For God's sake, it means I have the opportunity to do it my omega." Sakura's thoughts made his blush intensely again.

The way he courted you was very subtle; in a few months both were a solid couple. It's not that they told anyone who crossed their path that they were now a couple. Their routines did not change; Sakura continued with Nirei and Suo while you stayed with Kaji, Enomoto and Kusumi.

You two didn't have dates, you didn't occupy your alpha's clothes, when it was your zeal you gave him your clothes to smell them and when your cycle ended you washed them so that no one suspected anything.

However, this was totally different. Tsubaki had invited all the kings, captains and sub-captains to a party in the red light district. The thing looked good. Everyone was having fun and, although some were reluctantly going, the atmosphere was pleasant.

A waiter brought drinks, claiming that they were complimentary. At the table where you were sitting he also had your respective trio of friends, in the company of Sakura's trio.

Everyone took a drink to the drink; surprisingly, it was not just any cocktail, but an aphrodisiac distinctive of the place where the party was held.

A blush adorned your cheeks, it was the first time you felt like this. Your legs closed with discomfort, your heart began to beat faster, you mentally thanked the idea of putting on a patch to hide your pheromones. You knew how dangerous the red light district was for omegas, no matter how big or how strong you were.

Your dilated pupils went to Sakura's two-colored orbs. They both knew what it meant and with a small nod, Sakura left the table, with the excuse of wanting to go to the bathroom.

After about three minutes, you told Kaji that you were going to go talk to the rest of the boys, getting away with it easily.

You weren't obvious but you didn't take so long either, the discomfort you had between your legs didn't allow you. You made sure you didn't have anyone's gaze on you, before you could go to the bathroom where Sakura was waiting.

It was not the first time you both had a sexual encounter, but it was the first time in a public place. While you were in the bathroom with bright eyes, the emotion of what you were going to do began to bubble in the pit of your stomach.

Aphrodisiacs were not good for omegas; they resembled the felling of heat, that's why you were so excited.

Sakura was leaning on the sink, moving his foot nervously, playing with his fingers. "Sorry for the delay, I didn't want us to be so obvious." You caught his attention subtly, your steps were slow, approaching shyly.

Sakura was the first to approach; his soft lips touched yours, starting the kiss with despair. His hand slipped into your pants, playing with the elastic of the boxers you were wearing.

With a slow back and forth, he began to stimulate you. Sighs of satisfaction left your lips in the middle of the intense kiss. Your hips followed his movements looking for more friction. Red monsoon invaded Sakura's face. If you look down to be able to see it, the mere sight made your orgasm reach.

"Ah" a soft moan from Sakura, he hit your lips and was also masturbating.

He stopped his movements on both members, when he also reached climax. The semen left an uncomfortable feeling of humidity. Your agitated breaths, blushing faces and crazy hearts, gave an atmosphere of intimacy.

"We must leave now, I don't want Suo or Nirei to come in and find us." Sakura took his hand out of your pants, turning around so he could wash his hands.

You agreed, you also washed your hands and let Sakura go out first, while your breathing was controlled.

[cpvnksabm]

you know, in general i am the #1 defender of ricky potts as disability rep (before the erasure rewrites) especially when it comes to his pre-cyclone backstory. but occasionally i do remember the details about ricky's parents, specifically, how stupid it is. i spend most of my time in this fandom internally screaming "stop haphazardly changing rickys backstory, youre erasing the parts that made him special to me" but this part is one of few things in the whole musical that i actually do want changed. because if you take it at face value it makes no sense at all.

direct quote from the script:

"when Richard lost his power of speech, the Potts family took a vow of silence; usually communicating in a series of strange gestures that only they understood. The only time they interacted with one another was when they read comics, or fed the cats… they had fourteen cats."

there is so much weird shit going on here.

first of all. vow of silence? i have never in my life heard of that being someone's response to having a nonspeaking child. i am not nonverbal myself but based on what ive heard from people who are, i understand that not being able to just talk out loud for ease of communication, it complicates every interaction... so why would ricky's parents, presumably non-disabled (the term "vow of silence" definitely implies a choice and not like, selective mutism or anything), do that voluntarily?

no seriously. why. the script makes no attempt to explain their reasoning behind this or how ricky feels about it. why did they do this. is it a symbolic gesture? an attempt to better understand what their son is going through? i can't see it helping ricky in any tangible way. in fact, not being able to have his parents stand up for him (especially as a disabled person who is chronically ignored, especially as a child) would probably make his life harder.

i'm going to guess that the reasoning behind this out-of-universe, the general concept the writers were trying to communicate, was something like "one of the problems with how society treats disabled people is that sometimes they get too much support, and people make really drastic life changes to give them help that they don't even need"...

...and on top of directly contradicting the rest of ricky's backstory ("the most appalling cruelty humanity can muster: complete indifference", anyone?), this is just not true! the idea that disabled people are given/offered "too much" help is a myth and a stereotype. the vast majority of disabled people in real life have less than what they need, and have to struggle to get by. every organisation that is supposed to help disabled people, at every level, is biased toward giving the bare minimum or less - not to giving people more than they need.

to my knowledge, the whole "my son cant speak so im taking a vow of silence" thing, this has just... never happened in real life. not only would it Not Even Help it's just... not an idea that occurs to most parents of nonspeaking children. because why would it? it's ridiculous! the potts family "vow of silence" is just a ridiculous overexaggeration of the concept of "parents of disabled children make sacrifices for their children", and i dont like it.

now, if you want you can handwave all this away with "yeah this would be insane and ultimately unhelpful, but the musical never says that it is helpful, so for all we know ricky doesnt like it and it isnt good and his parents are just insane for doing that". and if that was the case, it would kind of fit with a recurring theme in the musical of performative efforts to "help" ricky that actually just make him more miserable. although i would say that a literal vow of silence is waaaay too big of a life commitment for parents to realistically do performatively. but then again, ricky's parents are clearly already odd people, with the 14 cats and the "strange gestures", so maybe it's just their characterisation...

and that reminds me. why the hell are they communicating with "strange gestures that only they understand".

i think most of the fandom interprets this as referencing ASL. but based on the description that's not what ASL is. sign languages are languages, with their own complex grammar, vocabulary, etc. they are not "strange gestures". this is like if noel's lament ended with our Objective Omniscient Narrator Karnak saying "monique and the priest communicated with a series of strange sounds that only they understood" and then they just spoke regular ass french.

but of course the script never says they're using ASL, and to my knowledge no production has ever actually done ASL for the "gestures", that part is really just fanon.

if you interpret the "strange gestures that only they understood" wording more literally - there is such a thing as home sign! home sign is a communication system made of gestures, generally not considered a complete language, that develops in households where communicating in language (either spoken language or sign language) is not an option. primarily, this is something that happens to linguistically isolated deaf children. if a child cannot hear well enough to learn & communicate with spoken language, and their parents don't give them an opportunity to learn sign language, they develop their own communication methods.

even this isn't quite what's happening in the musical if you take it literally, though, because home sign is developed by the child, by the child who doesn't have access to language. ricky could be d/Deaf or hard of hearing, which would impact his ability to hear and thus learn spoken language, but there's nothing in the musical to really point to this and so i dont think its what the writers were going for. the phrasing of the "vow of silence" thing implies that it was ricky's parents' choice to develop their own communication method consisting of gestures, rather than just an existing language including the language they presumably all already knew and communicated with prior to the "vow of silence".

this truly just boggles the mind. how did this happen? was there a point where mr potts sat down with the family and said "okay, so when we all take a vow of silence, this gesture will be how we ask each other when the cats food bowl was last fulled"? i will give canon the benefit of the doubt on one thing - while it isnt specified in the script, based on how degenerative (neuromuscular) disorders work in real life, it's likely ricky losing his speech would have been a gradual process rather than an overnight thing, and therefore i suppose the parents could have had enough warning time to develop the basics of a signed conlang. but they could have also used that time to learn an existing sign language, which im sure would have been easier for everyone. or they could have used that time to say "considering english exists in forms that dont require talking out loud (AAC), it would probably be easier to learn that rather than a new language, and also why are we taking a vow of silence anyway, how does that help our kid".

of course we dont know exactly how this language of "strange gestures" came to be. because canon, rather than elaborating on any of this, simply dropped the out-of-context claim on our feet. but depending on exactly how it went down, if you take it seriously, i think it could range from "bizarre form of child abuse/neglect that would have a severe impact on rickys communication and social life for years to come" to "technically harmless but really weird and convoluted".

and while we're on the subject of potential neglect. may i remind you, the last part of the section on ricky's parents:

"The only time they interacted with one another was when they read comics, or fed the cats… they had fourteen cats."

This is, frankly, maddening. it seems to imply that ricky's family ignored him a lot due to his disability which, while depressing, is definitely consistent with the rest of his backstory - being ignored at school/in uranium in general, retreating into his own imagination to cope. and i've said time and time again that the ableism ricky faces, being constantly ignored and condescended to and having to literally die and have his disability be magicked away in the afterlife before anyone actually listens to him, this is the most realistic part of the whole musical.

with that being said uhhh. that ending line might be consistent with the rest of rickys backstory but its NOT consistent with everything else karnak said about rickys parents, as recently as thirty seconds ago! are you telling me these parents took a vow of silence in some sort of weird symbolic solidarity with their kid, went as far as creating their own gestural communication system (/signed conlang) to facilitate communicating through this vow of silence... and then barely interacted with the kid they had sacrificed so much for?

if i take karnak completely at his word here, the only explanation i can come up with is that ricky was the subject of some linguistic experiment that his parents came up with. and frankly im not convinced the experiment is scientifically or ethically sound.

okay, in all seriousness,

i know the potts family is not conducting an unethical linguistic experiment. or at least, i know that is not the intended subtext of the musical. it's possible to come up with contrived situations in which these bizarre decisions would be realistic in-universe, but we all know that ride the cyclone is a work of fiction. and when things are this contrived... the most reasonable explanation is simply "the writers never thought that hard about it".

and that's disappointing! this blatantly nonsensical detail stayed in the musical for years, and apparently nobody thought to be like "hey, does this make sense? should we fact-check this?". this part of rickys backstory stayed the same until his entire backstory was overhauled to remove his disability in 2022 and, tbh, i dont think that was actually that anyone realised this part didnt make sense and tried to fix it, more likely that it just happened to get thrown out while they were doing disability erasure.

everything about this short paragraph indicates the writers being unwilling to research. which is bad writing practice in general and particularly bad when you're writing about disabilities!

i find this particularly disappointing because, as ive said, most of ricky's backstory was very realistic in the old scripts, and surprisingly well done; this is one of the aspects of disability rep where they just, completely dropped the ball. unfortunately, that was years ago, and now rtc has so thoroughly gone off the deep end in terms of disability ""representation"" that it's hardly worth it to nitpick the worst details in the best versions of the script...

but, still, i wanted to share my thoughts on this. it's surprisingly under-discussed in the fandom. i see a lot of people attempting to explain how rtc's disability rep was always flawed, some better than others... and i thought it would be good to go through and actually nitpick what rtc did wrong in the first place so we can all try to do better.

anyway, to the half-dozen people still reading this. fic writers. if you are a stickler for Canon Compliance then please understand that the canon here is nuts. i'm not saying don't put it in your fics, personally i sometimes love to write fics that i call Canon Malicious Compliant, which is when you stubbornly refuse to acknowledge what the author probably meant to say and instead explore the fucked-up explanations of what the author literally did say. i would love to see some fics that explore how ricky would actually feel about the "vow of silence" thing, and how it would impact him & his relationship with his parents, rather than just having it as a background info that isn't acknowledged as the weird thing it clearly is.

alternatively, to the large section of the fandom that is willing to say "I recognize the canon has made a decision, but given that it's a stupid-ass decision, I've elected to ignore it" - can i suggest CODA!Ricky, as in Child Of Deaf Adults, as an alternative headcanon that stays close to the canon while actually making sense? this would explain why his parents use a sign language at home way better than the "their kid cant speak so naturally they took a vow of silence" nonsense. obviously, headcanon what you want, this is the one part of canon that is really so nonsensical you might as well ignore it and treat it as a blank space in which to write whatever hcs you want, i just wanted to suggest one possible (more reasonable) explanation

[bluescreenvirus]

chaos' apology for + addressment of everything.

i am posting this for him as he is not logged in anymore and does not wish to, but this is directly copy and pasted from him. i will be posting other VERY important statements and information to help clear a few things up, especially regarding the misinfo involving sugarydeceit. i've already cleared some of that up privately, but i want it to be public info so ppl can feel secure. it may take longer than others to post due to being busy, but please keep an eye out if you could:

...

"first and foremost: i am sorry. i'm going to get into specifics but i want to preface with a blanket "i'm sorry" first.

to start, i'm sorry to ridley and friends and the ventblogs for not handling things better. i've been doing... bad, to put it lightly, ever since the document dropped. i've been unpacking nearly 8 years of constant abuse every day, and i've started taking it out on others. i have noticeably gotten worse than i used to be. which is an unfortunate part of healing. and i regret forcing the resulting harshness of my pain onto others, especially some minors. it wasn't your guys' fault for the things that happened to me, you shouldn't have been subjected to my ire. it was wrong. so again i am sincerely sorry for that.

and no, forgiveness is not my goal, i don't want anyone to demand i be forgiven or for anyone to feel obligated to forgive me. i don't have any problem getting mad at people who think it's okay to harass other people in my honor- it's not okay. it's never okay. and i'm really sorry that people did that. i'm not sure exactly what was sent to people originally, it's really hard for me to see/find things with how many people have me blocked, so i'm sorry if that apology feels too vague. but i am specifically sorry that people tried to blame ridley for me wanting to kms. it... was because of that situation, yes, but i don't want to put that on a kid, and no one else should either. especially if you're not me. why are you accusing anyone if you're not me. it's not your place. stop it.

i'm also sorry for the situation that sparked all of this. i really did believe that the ventblogs had a major problem with acting impulsively and making situations worse than they needed to be, however, i did not express that opinion in a nice way. and in the process i made people feel like i didn't care about the hate/harassment they had recieved. so i'm sincerely sorry for that, too.

i'm also sorry for bringing up kitty genovese. it was NEVER my intention to trivialize a rape+murder, i had hoped that would be obvious, but i saw that it wasn't and became angrier instead of calmly explaining what i meant. i only referenced kitty genovese in regards to the bystander effect- i know many in this fandom are young, so it's possible people googled her and saw a rape+murder case and took what i said very wrong. which i understand. if you don't know, kitty genovese is the main example used in every study of something called "the bystander effect", that's why i brought up the case. i felt the bystander effect applied to what i was experiencing. but it would've been better to just say the bystander effect, rather than assume everyone knew who kitty genovese was and the studies that stemmed from her case. i'm sorry again for all of that.

now i just. want to try and explain some things, if i may? i know people don't particularly want to listen to me anymore, so if you want to just stop reading at the apology, feel free. that's why i've separated the two. if you do choose to stop reading what i have to say here, i wish you well.

it was never ever my intention to make ridley feel attacked/endangered by me. i was just really, really scared, when i saw that ridley was sharing sugarydeceits/sweetfuls/lopsys lies about me, and people were believing them.

sugarydeceit has been harassing my partner and i for months- over half a year, actually, and has a history of doxxing people and sharing their names publicly. it even took one of the people to court, lio convoy, who i don't like as a person obviously, but sugarydeceit did take him to court. you can even find the recording of it on youtube. sugarydeceit has threatened to do the same thing with me many times. i've been careful to hide my personal information but even then it's not a guarantee of my safety. so i freaked out, and tunnel-visioned, because i need to keep myself and my partner safe from sugarydeceit. and any support it gets emboldens it to send us threats of death, harm, and other horrible things. i already woke up to some anons from it today because of all of this. [pictured below] having support has made it brave again when i had just finally gotten it to back off again a few days ago because it was stupid enough to insult sugar's grief about his dying great grandfather.—

[anon hate as a result of the mention of sugary deceit pictured above, one even targeting chaos abuse from KC by saying "go cuddle your little sis." not blaming anyone of course, this is only the fault of those who sent these anons.]

—that's why i wanted the posts taken down, on top of the fact that the information was untrue/exaggerated, which i'm sure sugar addressed in this post already. the posts put me and sugar in danger, the posts got us harassed- like i knew they would. i felt powerless and miserable and i didn't know what to do anymore. i really was making plans on how to kill myself because i thought it was over for me. i wasn't going to survive if the whole fandom began supporting my stalker, so i was in... survival mode, i guess. in that moment i wished i was back in the zcp. and i still kind of feel like that. it was abuse, but at least i didn't know that it was. it was a comfortable kind of misery. maybe that's just some weird kind of stockholm syndrome, i don't know.

i never want to come back to this fandom. it's absolutely mortifying to have my 'friends' all outcast and hate me for nearly 8 years, only to find a place i thought was safe, and then have the same exact thing happen. i haven't felt safe here ever since i was harassed for saying i didn't have enough information to pick sides in the maxim vs ridley situation, and then maxim himself was horrible to me in a way i can't address publicly right now, and then all of this. just being here scares me. all of anticare scares me. that's why i told people to not interact or use my ocs anymore. i was scared and just wanted to be left alone. it wasn't a personal attack against anyone, or me trying to invalidate previous support, i just had too many bad experiences that traumatized me and triggered me. i'm never even going to be able to release my own statement about my abuse because i'm terrified of the fandom picking it apart to try and invalidate me, or using the personal nature of the content to send me crueler targetted harassment, or just not caring.

i do have some involvement in the doc. i provided them with a fair amount of information considering my past proximity to kc, and i was able to confirm/deny things they were unsure about. i was going to have a section about my abuse, but i pulled out of adding it. so please don't discredit the entire doc just because you hate me. there are real predators, and real extremely damning pieces of evidence, addressed within it. and some other victims still made the choice to include their stories. so if you care about the other victims you'll spread it and support it. please.

the only further 'involvement' i'm probably ever going to have is boosting the doc when it comes out and answering any questions about it though i doubt i'll get any and i don't think i want to put them in the tag if i do answer any. if anything questions should be directed toward the doc blog and if they need an answer from me they'll ask me and parrot what i say.

the support was nice while it lasted and i appreciate it. but i can't be here anymore. and i would appreciate it if people just stopped talking about me so i don't have to be terrified of being put in danger when i can't defend myself. but i can't demand anything. i just hope someone will listen.

and i have changed my mind to agree with aobasgirlfriend, another victim, who iirc felt as though this comic shouldn't have a fandom anymore. i understand that point of view now. i don't think it should have a fandom anymore either. too many people were hurt using it, me included. i think everyone left should move on and let it die. there's nothing good that will come from staying. nothing at all.

if there's anything i've forgotten to address or apologize for, you can send it to bluescreenvirus because i'm logging out for an undetermined amount of time.

goodbye." — chaosblasts

[ryan-sometimes]

What is your favourite science experiment, if you don't mind me asking?

(Either one you've done yourself or read about, I just like hearing the often whacky things scientists can get up to!)

My favorite experiment isn’t one I did, but one I came up with during an exam. As a 3rd year undergrad, I accidentally signed up for a graduate level chemical biology class. I didn’t know until I showed up on the first day of class and saw that pretty much everyone there was a PhD student. I got really scared but decided to stick with it because the class seemed very interesting.

During the first few weeks of class, we talked about something that I found really interesting. And that was the question of screening vs selection. Say that you’re randomly generating mutations in a bacteria and you want to find out if one gave them antibiotic resistance. All the bacteria are mixed together and you don’t know which is which. A screening would be if you sequenced every single bacteria. Screening is just brute forcing it. You could do that, or you could do a selection, such as growing all the bacteria on a plate containing the antibiotic, so only the resistant bacteria would survive and grow colonies. You could then sample these cultures and have pure samples of only the resistant bacteria.

A selection isn’t always possible though. Sometimes a screening is your only option. However, it’s always quite satisfying when you can come up with a clever selection.

When the first midterm of the class came around, there was a screening vs selection question. The premise was that you had generated a library of mutations in E. coli, and you were looking to get only bacteria without a specific mutation. This mutation did not serve any biochemical purpose but its sequence was known. It did not grant the bacteria any specific immunity, produce any protein, etc. But the professor wanted us to come up with a way to kill ONLY those bacteria.

I left that question for last because I couldn’t figure it out for the life of me. The previous selections I’d seen always involved taking advantage of some kind of resistance or enzyme. I’d never seen a selection like this. I thought and I thought and I thought about it. Eventually I remembered CRISPR. The CRISPR-Cas9 system is a mechanism for gene editing. It can recognize specific sequences in DNA, cut it, and make any edits you want into that location. You can alter the recognition sequence of CRISPR by editing the single guide RNA.

And so, the selection I came up with was to make the mutated sequence the guide RNA, so that CRISPR-Cas9 could find it in the bacterial genome. Cas9 (an enzyme that cuts DNA) would then cut the DNA only at our mutated sequence. It could then insert a lethal gene into that spot, which would kill only the bacteria with the mutation we wanted to discard. I used my last few minutes in the exam to write my answer for that question as fast as I could. There were many possible correct answers to that question. My professor said before the exam that if we were asked to come up with a selection, as long as the one we wrote made sense and could fill the purpose, it’d be correct.

I got it right 😌

It’s my favorite experiment because I came up with it on the fly, and it was my first time coming up with a selection on my own. It made me feel like I’d become a better scientist because of it. I got a B+ in that class, but I worked harder for that B+ than any A in my life, and what I learned in that class was extremely valuable for my scientific career. I have no regrets.

[loathemetc]

DELTARUNE THEORY: Is the Knight really "too obvious?"

More specifically, is Dess being the Knight too obvious?

In my opinion, no.

I feel like people who are in way too deep into Deltarune like I am are forgetting that Dess being the Knight isn't actually obvious to the layman player.

Like you gotta remember Dess is a character who is only mentioned in optional dialogue in Chapter 1, in passing a few times in Chapter 2, and once directly in Chapter 3. Tenna is the first character to even call her December. Everything about Dess being missing and her full name being December in Chapter 2 is subtext, and frankly some people just don't catch subtext.

Dess only being called direct attention to in Chapter 3, the same chapter the Knight appears in, is certainly no coincidence, but it doesn't read as a misdirect. After all, up until the Knight appears, the game is busy misdirecting you into thinking Kris is the Knight. Then soon after the game introduces you to Carol, a cold woman who is clearly sus as hell and has pointed antlers just like the Knight.

The subtext is becoming a lot more noticeable sure. Dess's room is labelled as such, it's not supposed to be entered, her guitar not meant to be touched. But the game isn't giving you much time to chew on that idea before introducing Carol and her obvious villain vibes. There is not much lull between the game wanting you to think Kris is the Knight and the game wanting you to think Carol is the Knight. There's also like 3 seconds of Asgore misdirect that is like, extra funny if you didn't know he was in the house yet, which is weirdly missable information.

But I know what you're asking, isn't the Knight's sword looking like a bat for a second too obvious? Well, besides just the fact that not everybody is going to immediately make the connection that it looks like a bat in those two seconds, no. Every mention of Dess wielding a bat is optional missable dialogue, and frankly, the lyrics to Raise Up Your Bat are nigh unreadable when you're actually trying to win the rhythm game. And if they missed that dialogue about the whiffle bat, they might not even make the connection between Raise Up Your Bat and Dess, even if the subtext of the Tenna scene makes it pretty obvious. Same with the baseball moon scene, although that again requires you to make the connection between Dess and baseball in the first place.

And then, throughout the rest of Chapter 4 and the Knight's various appearances, Dess is never mentioned again, and the actually present character of Carol will linger on most players minds.

In short, the game is definitely dropping hints that Dess is the Knight, but they're not as loud as people seem to think. People playing the game now, all at once, and not being the most thorough definitely won't be thinking it's as obvious as the people who have photographic memory of all facts about Dess from years of theorizing, and they might just not pick up on the idea in the first place. Kris is a much more enticing candidate until they aren't, and then Carol appears soon after. Dess is the underdog option here, being given less attention by the game due to her lack of presence, and that makes her all the better for keeping the mystery going.

I guess this was a sort of weird reverse of a Dess Knight theory, approaching it from the opposite perspective as usual, but I suppose I do think it's the most likely option. But if you think it's too obvious, just ask the people who saw the antlers and still think it's Asgore or Papyrus.

Last thing to remember I think is that this is a game that was never meant to be played in chunks over many years. The intended play experience is going to be playing the game start to back once it's actually done, like most other rpgs. We were never meant to have years in between chapters to obsess over all available information. Now, that doesn't mean theorizing is a bad thing, I love theorizing. But you gotta remember not to overthink it. Something that seems too obvious with years of time to think about it and all available information is not going to be too obvious to some guy playing through the whole game for the first time as intended.

[beannoss]

SxF read along volume 2! (part 4)

Specifically on the moral and ethical worldbuilding in SxF.

I wanted to bundle these flashbacks of Anya's about Yor's lesson to her with fighting:

Both Yor and Twilight operate knowing the impacts and boundaries of the power they wield, one day I’ll write all my thoughts about this being fundamental to the wholesomeness of SxF, but it’s so nice to see it plainly articulated so early on too

👀👀👀 I’ve been thinking a lot lately about Yor and smiling and wondering how often maybe her smiles aren’t… entirely true… and anyway I’m 👀👀👀

… not me feeling like a dummy for trying to puzzle out Yor’s guiding principles from her actions throughout SxF when she just fuckin’ states them from the beginning 😂🫣

In all seriousness, Yor does practice these throughout as regards her contract killing... Endo does this very carefully threaded weave of SxF's internal ethics, how he keeps Yor and Twilight on the 'good' side of grey, where the lines in the sand are regarding antagonists, villains and cruelty. A fair bit of that threading is done with Yor and Twilight specifically, in how they do the morally dubious (at best) things they both do. It's also a careful balance, philosophically, because the only reason there is any sort of moral argument for Garden and WISE is because Ostania is implicitly facing a moral crisis, which is most especially demonstrated through the SSS...:

(I should have highlighted 'surveilling the public' above too; oversight!) This is also such a chilling panel:

Back more directly to the topic at hand, there is a marked difference between the work Yor and Twilight are shown doing, and this introduction of Yuri:

I think potentially one of the trickiest things with navigating SxF is that the internal ethics need be judged by the internal matrices we're shown. Twilight isn't really akin to a real world spy: he can change his face, body shape and voice within seconds, and it's clear that he and WISE are invested in some level of protection of innocent people who get caught up in their missions (or at least mitigation of harms, if Twilight's comment that WISE would look after Yor and Anya post-Strix is indicative). Yor isn't really akin to a real world contract killer: never mind running faster than cars, she can just stand in the middle of the road on one leg and kick a car hard enough it veers into a streetlamp, and otherwise her targets, at least, are consistently shown to be individuals or groups that would, by rights, be brought to criminal trial and that they are not indicates a clear failing in Ostania's criminal justice system. Which makes sense, when we see the explanation of the SSS above.

WISE and Garden are only an ethical option when the SSS is the main arbiter of justice: the SSS's fundamental model is flawed, because it is demanding its citizens see one another as inherently suspect, to surveil one another and ultimately to turn on one another. If the metrics for traitor-of-the-state are things like being a single woman and having extramarital affairs, then what makes for the truly traitorous is diluted to such an extent as to essentially be meaningless. The SSS aren't looking to implement justice; their goal is clearly control under the spurious declaration of order. Control and order are not justice; they are reiterations of power and oppression masquerading as justice and safety, leaving instead a void. And into that void of justice and safety step groups like Garden and WISE, and, jumping ahead for a moment, even the way Olka Gretcher's crime family was described demonstrates them stepping in where the government failed (and the Gretcher successor reneging on that role).

I wish I'd snapped some of the statements from/about WISE in the first volume, but I also tend to think SxF's primary exploration of the intersection of morality and justice is going to be in the contrast between the choices made by the Briar siblings and the potential inevitable clash between Garden and the SSS. And the intersection of morality and safety may well play out between Twilight and Donovan Desmond, and the choices they each make. To that, choice overlays everything, and the contrast of the exercise of power.

[sonicranger1]

I'm in a rambling mood so I’m gonna talk in more detail about Blinky X Kanjigar (Kansas) and why i think it’s neat so PLEASE HEAR ME OUT-

Okay so this entire thing started because of The Secret History of Trollkind, one of the tie-in comics for ToA, and while yes i know there’s controversy around the legitimacy of the tie-in books that is a separate discussion that I’ve already had (tldr: they are actually aligned with canon pretty well, Wizards just retconned a lot, didn’t watch the source material and people blindly nod along with it)

Anyways this all started with a certain panel near the end of the comic, this one specifically.

This panel is actually such a good demonstration of their dynamic as a whole now that I’m thinking about it.

With Blinky praising Kanjigars skills and showing his admiration for him (something I will get into more later and throughout) while showing concern for his well-being.

To Kanjigar putting an odd emphasis on specifically not failing and protecting Blinky before clarifying the rest of Trollkind as well.

to finally the hand placements going on in this panel, How Blinky is reaching out to Kanjigar as the latter doesn’t make a move back, Blinkys hands being opened while Kanjigars are closed off in fists.

Their dynamic in the comic (and overall) is just so fascinating to me, especially with how it shows just how much Blinky values Kanjigar, because you know his destiny speech? That iconic one said in the second episode of Trollhunters? That has lines ripped straight from things Kanjigar said during their journey across America to what would be Heartstone Trollmarket.

And unlike the similar moments in Wizards or ROTT it’s done so well and given such a good narrative reason. it’s to show just how much Kanjigar has helped change Blinkys world view, how he’s given him courage to not be as cowardly, to fight alongside Kanjigar and the others (Draal and Arrrgh) Like guys this spider of a troll admires this guy so much it hurts, especially with the rest of the info we’re given on their dynamic.

They’re described as Best Friends, Kanjigar was a Scholar before becoming Trollhunter, Blinky had to watch as Kanjigar died unable to do anything to stop it and one of his first reactions is to blame himself and say he could’ve done more to prevent it.

Which is where I get to ramble about the elephant in the room around these guys being so Doomed by the Narrative-core.

Okay quick context but the prologue in the first tie-in novel establishes how The Amulet tells the Trollhunter when they’re going to die right before it happens, so Kanjigar knows he’s going to die a day before it goes down, which gives us lines like

“-With his remaining time, the Trollhunter knew that he must say good-bye to those who were closest to him.”

”Kanjigar sat down beside the pair at the large reading table covered with open volumes and research scrolls and sighed, "For that, I apologize, my friends. I have been distracted of late. The burdens of the Trollhunter weigh heavily on my mind. But now. . . now I'm finally remembering what is most important to me."”

And a chapter or two later

“Blinky cried out at the top of his lungs to try to distract Bular. But the bridge was too far away. And so the two Trolls watched in horror as the Trollhunter plunged off the bridge and smashed against the canal floor into thousands of shards of rock.”

“"Why?" Blinky uttered in a hoarse whisper. "Why would Kanjigar not accept our assistance when we offered it earlier? Perhaps if I'd been more forceful in my-" "No," grumbled AAARRRGGHH!!!. "Kanjigar wanted it this way." "But... why?" Blinky had to ask again.”“

The slow progression of Kanjigar distancing himself more and more from those he cares about is something that i don’t see talked about much outside of Draal, people seem to not bring up how Kanjigar did it for all his loved ones, not JUST Draal.

(And even if it’s something that’s only really delved into in the books I think it’s still something that’d be a given? like why would he only do it with Draal but not others yknow?)

He used to bring Blinky and Arrrgh with him on patrols, Blinky has several memorabilia from their past adventures together, they were best friends I can’t emphasis this enough and watching as Kanjigar distanced himself from all of them makes me think about how differently him and Blinky go about protecting the other and their other loved ones overall.

Blinky doing so through being there, being present and willing to give advice or a helping hand ect.

which you can say is attributed to how both Dictatious’/Unkars deaths happened when he wasn’t there or present at the right time and later the same would happen to Kanjigar. I point back to my earlier reference of Blinky wondering why Kanjigar didn’t let him and Arrrgh join and help him with the added detail that Blinky was the one to initiate the request to accompany Kanjigar on his patrol.

”Kanjigar closed his eyes, exhaled, and stood up. "The sun has set above," said Kanjigar. "I had best begin my patrol." Blinky began, "Then let me gather my supplies so that AAARRRGGHH!!! and I might join -"”

And whenever Blinky does “fail” at protecting/helping a loved one, he puts the blame on himself, acting like he didn’t do enough or should’ve tried harder.

There’s also something to be said on how he doesn’t let himself truly feel many negative emotions and how there’s an argument to be made that he pushes down feelings like sadness, grief ect.

Like what was his reaction after Dictatious’ betrayal? Angrily burning his books, hell after his initial shock of seeing Dictatious alive and now sided with Gunmar Blinky quickly turned to anger.

When he thought Jim died at the end of season 3 of Trollhunters? Bro let a single tear fall from his eye and that’s it girl I know this is affecting you more than that.

Kanjigar and Vendels deaths? After the initial heartbreak bro just never addresses it after (which is totally not because of lack of episodes and poor writing no guys this has a deeper meaning I swear).

Moving on though with Kanjigar, he goes about protecting his loved ones by distancing himself from them, emotionally and physically (about the opposite of Blinky) and while yes you could say that’s just because of the pressure being Trollhunter has put on him, and I definitely do think that’s part of it, he’s always kinda been like that even before becoming Trollhunter?

He was worried/didn’t want Draal to pursue the path of the warrior, as he knew just how dangerous and deadly something like that is and while he had valid reasonings to be wary of such a career path, it resulted in him being dismissive and not engaging with Draal.

“But there was Draal the Deadly training in the pit, sparring with automated blades, dodging blasts of flame that shot from the floor. Off to the side, Jim saw another Kanjigar-this one also very much alive-paying more attention to the scroll in his hands than to Draal's practice.”

“"Father, did you see? I cleared the trials in less time than it took this morning—a new record! Are you not proud?" Jim watched the living Kanjigar pull himself away from his scroll long enough to say, "I'd be prouder if you'd put even half as much effort into your studies."“

It all just boils down to Kanjigar having good intentions but going about them in the wrong ways that ends up hurting his loved ones more than not.

Anyways back on track to what this post is supposed to be about and why I brought this up, I should mention now that while I love Kansas and think they should hold hands and frolick in the fields and be happy together, it just wouldn’t happen “canonically” aka what I think would realistically happen which is neither of them ever confessing to the other for several reasons.

One being wow! Kanjigar is- was- a married man! Draal needs to exist!!

And by the time Kanjigar does get divorced and separates from Ballustra that’s close to the time Deya dies and he becomes Trollhunter.

I do not think a recent divorce combined with becoming Trollhunter makes a good headspace combo to log back onto Grindr personally speaking.

These same reasons are why i think Blinky would also hold back on confessing anything because outside of him being a pansy loser- i doubt he’d try and confess to a guy who recently got divorced and with Kanjigar newly becoming Trollhunter which is already stressful enough, the last thing im sure he’d need is a friend of his walking up to him like “🌹🫦hey~” who he may possibly not even feel the same for, atleast from Blinkys pov.

and even after Trollmarket is established and time has passed, by then Kanjigar has probably dived further down into the mindset of “as the Trollhunter i have to distance myself from all of you” and being with Blinky would be the exact opposite of that.

And it’s hard to even think about trying to confess to someone who’s actively avoiding you and can’t even look you fully in the eyes.

Then of course the amulet starts ticking down to Kanjigars death, showing there isn’t anymore time to go back and truly reconcile or realize maybe this isn’t the best way to go about protecting the ones he values most, that maybe all he’s been doing is hurting them further.

So yeah neither of these guys are holding hands, all you are getting is yearning glances and the briefest of touches.

unless of course we bend “canon” which im not doing in this post so moving on-

Now that my foundations are layed i will finally bring up stuff from the actual series so do not fret, i have more to say about these guys outside of the tie-in book material, it’s just that the tie-in books give good background material.

At this point I think? I’ve established how Blinky praises Kanjigar but man dude, literally everytime Kanjigar is brought up in the series Blinky has something positive to say about him/praise him for.

One example being: ”Kanjigar was perhaps the most alert and able of all the Trollhunters.”

“But not the best, I'm betting.”

”Oh, the very best. Many songs and sagas have been written about him.”

Yet flash forward to Gnome Your Enemy and For The Glory Of Merlin and he says “-and our great Trollhunter, Deya the Deliverer-“

“Deya the Deliverer was the mightiest Trollhunter that ever lived.”

Blinky, my wonderful little Bi disaster, i need you to pick a lane. 💖

from KanjiAAARRRGGHH (which that episode I’ll get into more in a second) you have this “Kanjigar, why don't you simply talk with Vendel and the Tribunal? Surely, one of Trollmarket's greatest champions could persuade-“

KanjiAAARRRGGHH also showing Blinkys likely memorized all of Kanjigars moves is like the gayest thing you could ever do with someone who’s your “friend” can I be blunt about that ?

“Kanjigars creeping spider! A signature move.” Like gurl..

This next thing I talk about is definitely going into theory/delusion territory but isn’t that any fanon ship?

Okay so this

Blinkys reaction to Claire holding Jim’s hand in E14 I always found odd tonely, because they play such somber music over the scene once we land on Blinkys reaction and the way he looks at them? Like while yes I’m sure it’s him realizing “oh shit this kid is definitely gonna go into the Darklands for this girl” what if i inserted some delusion into this and said it’s also because he’s reminded of Kanjigar.

Like oh Trollhunter that would go to any lengths to protect and help his loved ones even if that comes at the cost of his well being.

And also from Claire’s side, even if Blinky has faith in Jim’s abilities I doubt Trollhunters are known to normally live long, atleast by Troll standards, so the fact Jim is a human child? there’s always a high possibility he could die at any moment, and leave Claire inadvertently heart broken.

And hmmm who else cared deeply for a Trollhunter who suffered an untimely death, one where he, himself had to watch without being able to help because he didn’t get there in time?

I’m just saying i think Blinky is reminded of himself and Kanjigar briefly in that scene that is all.

Honorable mention to this line because what did he mean by this I can't be the only one who thinks this has more meaning than just the current conversation happening, he’s just so strange dude.

And now finally.. KanjiAAARRRGGHH, oh KanjiAAARRRGGHH my magnum opus, my Roman Empire, one of my favorite episodes, the things I have to say about you..

The Flare, The Flare Kanjigar gives Blinky, an insignificant thing to anyone that isn’t an over analyzer/thinker but if this post hasn’t shown already, I am one of those so just wait and give me a second to explain the significance.

This Flare was grabbed from Blinkys library, which means Blinky likely bought it himself, that’s already his Flare yet when Kanjigar gives it to him later this sixed eyed freak holds it like it’s the most precious thing in the world and looks at it so longingly you’d think he wants to marry it.

quick derail to have you look at how he reaches for Kanjigar and his receding touch on two occasions with only a minute or two inbetween scenes, it’s relevant.

the last scene above, I want you to see just how- pathetic and sad- for lack of a better word, Blinky looks at Kanjigar turning away/The Flare he was given before Toby tries to reassure him with saying atleast Kanjigar will be accompanying them into the Darklands and how a smile spreads on Blinkys face before Kanjigar butts in saying “sorry nah I can’t 🚬”

Can you see how much this man craves Kanjigars presence back? like he misses him so much and clings to whatever he can that’s left of him or was gifted to him by Kanjigar like The Flare.

It doesn’t matter that he likely originally got The Flare himself, it’s the fact Kanjigar gave it to him, entrusted him with it and how this is likely one of the last times he’ll be able to interact with Kanjigar now that he’s dead and it’s under the circumstances where they can’t properly talk or get closer because they’re on such a time crunch to save Jim.

It’s like there’s always something stopping them from maybe finally getting their feelings out there.

for closing commentary I’ll say that I guess the reason i find this ship (and their dynamic in general) so fascinating to think about is the major miscommunication problem or moreso the lack of it in general, the fact that as long as Kanjigar is Trollhunter the chances of them working out or even happening in the first place is so low if not impossible since Kanjigar ultimately HAS to die or we don’t get the story we get, even if we’re doing something Post-ROTT. they’re always deemed to fail in one way or another, and I personally find that so fun narratively and I think that’s one of the main reasons I'm drawn to this ship alongside everything I’ve listed above and more.

If you read this far I'm genuinely impressed youd take the time and highly appreciate it! (I put far to much effort into this)

And if I somehow convinced you about this ship to any degree that'd also be a plus as these guys are my current fixation at this point please ask me about them I could ramble more im being so honest as there are things I didn’t bring up in here as I thought they were too minor or unnecessary to the overall point (also tumblr image limit)

[gece-misin-nesin]

I am a self-professed hater of the Master of the Heavenly Yard novel. I think there are a bunch of problems with it, and here are the main ones for clarity's sake:

The antagonists and their plan are incredibly out of left field and are only kind of foreshadowed vaguely in album booklets

The antagonist LINEUP is weird (irina, gallerian, gammon, etc.)

There are not enough cameos and especially not enough cameos that MATTER

Allen is suddenly the main character despite not mattering ever since Cloture of Yellow and Wiegenlied of Green (discounting his cameos in other novels such as Fith, Pierrot)

People's character arcs disappear for no reason (Specifically Rilliane)

If you don't want to read what is more of a rant than actual critique/analysis, the TLDR is that I think there should have been another novel between Muzzle of Nemesis and Master of the Heavenly Yard. From here on I will mostly use acronyms and shortened names for stuff.

The antagonists and their plan is incredibly out of left field and is only kind of foreshadowed vaguely in album booklets

and

The antagonist LINEUP is weird (irina, gallerian, gammon, etc.)

Number 1 and 2 kind of go together, so I'll talk about them interchangably. The biggest issue with these two is that they both suffer from "hey, where did THIS come from?".

This is mainly because, for some reason, mothy (the writer) never elaborated on Evils Theater, its inhabitants, and what the fuck they're doing at any point. We only get minor glimpses like Capriccio Farce or the album booklets. On its own, this isn't so bad. We have a lot of stuff we don't know about Evillious' history. However, most of those things don't end up being incredibly important in the literal FINALE of the series.

Now, the final villain in the mothy novel is Ma. However, for a large portion of the book, our main antagonists are: Gammon, Gallerian, Michelle, Irina, Adam (kind of), and Eve (kind of). Now, I don't think I really need to spell out why this is an odd group but I will anyways.

First, we get no indication that ALL of these guys TOGETHER somehow had enough contact with each other to form a detailed plan regarding the end of the world.

Two, Gammon and Gallerian are enemies, meaning them being in the same group (and I recall them being in the same place at some parts of the novel) without serious infighting needs an explanation. We never get one.

Three, when did they make this plan considering Gallerian has been dead for years? In fact, HOW did they make this plan? How did they come to the conclusion that they HAVE to destroy the sinners to stop Ma....instead of just like, killing her? And you can say "But Ma was presumed to be killed by Nemesis!" but that would mean they started to plan just before the world ended. I find that hard to believe. How did they come to the conclusion they have to go back in time? No idea.

Four, why does Gallerian agree to this plan when he KNOWS the sinners have to be destroyed. Aka himself. And let's say that somehow Gallerian accepts dying for the greater good or whatever..why does he let Michelle make a contract with Eve for the plan then!? Her becoming the main contractor for sloth means she HAS to die. This is the same Gallerian that does everything for his daughter and the same Gallerian who ends his song saying he'll come back and achieve his goals to create a paradise for himself and his daughter. I don't even like the guy, but how exactly does this make sense with his previous characterization?

Five, why is Michelle here. HOW is Michelle here? She was in the Heavenly Yard for decade(s), so she couldn't have communicated with them beforehand. Moreover, she was a sheltered, innocent 16 year old when she died. How on earth is she now a terrorist who's fine with suicide if it means saving the world or resetting it?

Six, how did Gallerian learn some important lore for this plan? Uhh because there was randomly a black box belonging to Luna Hazuki in the Hellish Yard....for some reason.

Seven, how did Adam realize Irina was Maria which set off the events that led to him being Neo Adam? Idk

Eight, why does Irina suddenly decide she wants to save the world? Idk. You can argue that it's because she changed her perspective due to her time as Michelle, but that's subtext at best. Her suddenly wanting to save the world technically fits with her NOT being an actual HER as of OSS:C and P, but I'm not sure how much that was preplanned. Besides, I'm still not a fan of that specific reveal because it means unlike every other HER, Irina was just a normal person who wanted to destroy the entire world not because she had a fantasy illness but..because she just really wanted to I guess? But I digress, this is OSS territory.

Nine, pretty minor but, how does Irina make the entire THEATER her body, something unprecedented in the series before this?

Some of these may have been answered in the novel and it's possible I just forgot, in that case please correct me.

Onto our third point:

There are not enough cameos and especially not enough cameos that MATTER

Technically I can just answer this one with "Nyoze" and be done with it, but I won't.

-Nyoze doesn't exist for some reason even though he has a significant connection to Nemesis, one of the main characters of the novel, and is literally in the Court Ending and OSS

-Arte and Pollo are reduced to Banica's servants (this is more an issue I have with their writing THROUGHOUT the series and this was the perfect time to address it) even though their roles as Hansel, Gretel, Ney, and Lemy could have been impactful and tied up loose ends. Lemy is Irina's adopted son, and we have a bunch of Pride Arc cameos here INCLUDING Mariam, Ney's adoptive mother. Also Prim is in the background a lot here for some reason. I get that she was a contractor too, but there were other minor contractors? I guess it was because they weren't HERs..

-Germaine and Allen are somehow on great terms despite their terrible parting

-Despite the abundance of Pride Arc cameos, most of them don't mean jack shit story wise. We literally don't get an actual Three Heroes reunion. What the fuck. Also does Allen even talk to Leonhart?

-Despite the Pride Arc cameos, we don't see most characters from the Greed/Wrath arcs, even though Ma, Gallerian, and Gammon are all antagonists in this novel and there are a lot of characters connected to them (such as the members of PN)

-Do we get any cameos from the Envy arc? The Sloth arc? The original PN?

Allen is suddenly the main character despite not mattering ever since Cloture of Yellow and Wiegenlied of Green (not counting his cameos in other novels)

Now, I know mothy (the author) intended the series to start and end with the twins. I can accept that. The problem is that the series never gives a reason for it? It feels very abrupt. Even if I'm generous and start counting after the Pride Arc, Allen hasn't been relevant for about 6 novels at this point. I suppose Tailor of Enbizaka counts..but eh. That's not even mentioning Rilliane herself, who at least got to be relevant as Postman and Lillith but otherwise wasn't very important either.

Anyway, if we had gotten a novel inbetween Muzzle and mothy, this problem could have been fixed. Alternatively, Allen could have reincarnated more than once, thus keeping him in the story.

People's character arcs disappear for no reason

Just saying "Rilliane" instead of "People" would probably more accurate here, but eh. Honestly this might be the most minor point, but it's still annoying.

Rilliane, in her past life, died as an old woman. Let's say around her 80s or so. She also had a redemption arc where she stopped being..you know, the 'daughter of evil'. In her 2nd life, she was a normal person. In her 3rd life, she had issues, but she wasn't terrible either. However, when she dies...she's in her 14 year old self and is STILL a spoiled princess.

I'm sorry, but if you want Allen and Rilliane to be the main characters and the literal bookends, why are you ignoring Rilliane's character development literally her BIGGEST aspect in the pride arc? That just makes her character seem static, contradictory, and unsatisfying. Because you erased the development that you wrote and showed the viewer in the very first novels!

And that's it. That's my thesis on "Why Master of the Heavenly Yard Sucks, and Why There Should Have Been Another Novel Before It". Thank you for reading until this point.

PS. One of the few good things was Ma's writing. Absolutely superb.

[katanahime]

Tim and Damian both view Red Robin as Inferior to Robin

Regardless of how the rest of the Batfam sees it (and a lot of them don't view it this way), that is how the two of them see it.

You can see it in their words, you can see it in their actions, you can see it in how they respond to others' thoughts on matters.

More or less the way that it goes is this:

Damian views the hierarchy as proximity-to-Batman, or more particularly past being Batman itself, the likelihood being in that position leads to becoming Batman. He viewed Tim being pushed out to Red Robin as removing him from the direct running, and therefore inferior. (Tim doesn't actually care about this, but Damian doesn't necessarily know that and it informs his view of Tim sometimes as a threat.)

Damian for a while genuinely viewed the idea that people may change their minds and make Tim Robin again as a potential threat to his position, and I actually think the fact that Tim did end up returning but no one kept Damian away from it as well has done wonders for their relationship as well as their relative respect levels. (Although this may also be reflective of his somewhat changing opinions about what, exactly, he wants. Which may effect this overall view in the long run.)

It is, of course, also worthy of note that Damian knows that Nightwing became Batman before (like, he was there), so that also informs his view of where that "position" rests.

Tim views things as proximity to Batman & Robin. He views those positions as equals instead of a direct hierarchical dynamic. Robin is just as important as Batman, nearly everything else is inferior, with a couple of noteable exceptions.

One is probably Batgirl. As another symbolic legacy in the same vein. (And the way he treats Batgirl I think reflects this.)

The other is Dick Grayson. No, not Nightwing as a title by itself, Dick Grayson. Any identity Dick Grayson specifically is currently inhabiting or attached to. Dick is Tim's favorite hero and favorite person and nothing he is will ever be inferior, ever. But Nightwing by itself? If Dick wasn't the one there? Do you think Tim asking Dick to leave Nightwing to be Robin again when he first showed up was a joke? (I do think Tim's respect for Nightwing by itself has probably risen over time as Dick has really made a symbol out of it much more over time, but it's still very much rooted in that being Dick.)

And I think there are some fundamental misunderstandings of this. Not only in the fandom, but in-universe, which is what leads to some situations.

Regardless of how you feel about whether either or both of Tim or Damian should be Robin, what you do need to understand is that neither should be pushed out, and the result is always going to be severely damaging. It needs to be their own decision and not something that's forced or shoehorned. And that putting anyone in a position that basically reads as "other (less important, less real) Robin" just ain't it.

Currently I think Damian is the one that's closer to changing his mind, but that is, of course, in hands that aren't mine.